Unplanned Intervention
by xxDark-Elfxx
Summary: AUsorta. Daniel and Vala are brought together with a little help from some old and odd friends. Songfic. I like songfics, sue me. I also suck at summeries. Rated T for naughty language and dirty thoughts. Later AKA better chaps coauthored with GatePirate.
1. Every Woman

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. I don't own Daniel Jackson or Vala Mal Doran or the SGC, either, and the lawyers say the restraining order is perfectly legal and justified. So this is as close as I can get. : p**

**Author's Notes: The songs in this chapter are from the Garth Brooks album 'Fresh Horses'. The first song mentioned is called 'Rollin'' and the second song is called 'Every Woman' (duh). Vala's fasination with Disney and animation is whole-heartedly inspired by the D/V fic 'My Date With A Martian Stuntwoman'. It is a fantastic story that I sadly did nothing to help create. However I do suggest Googling the title and reading it. Daniel's taste in music comes from two places; Nightwish from a Daniel/Cameron fic I cannot find anymore, and Queen because along with 'twangy, fiddle heavy country', I also love classic rock and therefore had to use it. BTW, I do listen to and enjoy country music so do not let Daniel's opinions put you off. Not every poor soul can understand the value of a song that laments Momma getting run over by a train after getting out of prison. I am currently working on the second chapter and will post as quickly as I can. Thanks for reading and please for the sake of all things that spin, click the little review button and let me know what you think. I have marshmallows all set for the flames. **

**Every Woman**

_Well I knew I was in trouble_

_When she told me that talk was cheap_

_Said if you're tired get on the sofa_

'_cause the bed no place to sleep_

_Then she reached out and she kissed me_

_Lord it knocked me to my knees_

_And I knew if I was gonna get naked_

_I was gonna have to roll up my sleeves_

Daniel sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and dropped his chin to his chest, one hand automatically pinching the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses, while he uttered what was quickly becoming his curse, invocation and the very reason he was turning into a human wind machine.

"Vala."

He had come into his office with the simple task of collecting the various notes he had made about the artifact SG-9 had found on P3X-whatever-the-hell-it-was, he was too tired to remember, let alone care, and hopefully turn those hastily scribbled observations into a report that would satisfy General Landry, who unlike Jack or even Hammond, actually seemed to read them rather than skim through looking for the words 'really big gun' or 'hidden meaning of everything to be found in third cave on the right'. With an ironic twist of his lips, Daniel reflected on the fact that right when he was getting to the point where he could appreciate the military view of defense first and exploration later, he was given a CO that might seriously consider using manpower to discover lost civilizations as well as to kick alien bad-guy ass. Just as he began to wonder if the SGC would have had a totally different purpose if Landry had been in charge at the beginning, the grade-A migraine he had been fighting all day made itself known with a particularly vicious throb. A throbbing, he noticed, that was pulsing in time to the music coming out of his stereo. Music that he was expecting to be Nightwish, or maybe Queen, but was instead some twangy, fiddle heavy country that could only belong to Vala, because only Vala would be crazy enough to leave it in his CD player, let alone bring it to his office in the first place.

Over the past couple of weeks, he and Vala had settled into a routine of sorts. Mainly, he would work on whatever he was working on and she would watch TV, or surf the web, or listen to music while reading Teal'c well-thumbed copy of Being an American for Dummies. At first he had found her constant noise and presence distracting (particularly the day she discovered rap music and proceeded to blare Kanye West for an entire afternoon), but now he found it rather, well, _comforting_. He had also noticed that while asking her to shut up so he could please concentrate would earn him only a few minutes of silence, if he was struggling over a difficult translation or couldn't quite make the pieces of his latest archeological puzzle fit, the noise level would drop, or Vala would ask him a completely off the wall question about earth culture, like the day he spent several minutes trying to make her understand the concept of animation (evidently, the Tau'ri were the only ones to invent this particular form of entertainment) before finally borrowing a copy of Cinderella and sitting her down in front of the screen with the instructions "Watch and learn". And then she had had so many questions about the story, he wound up sitting next to her on the beat up old couch in his office, explaining that no, mice don't really talk like that, and that saying bibbitty-boppity-boo over a pumpkin would not turn it into a carriage, and what was a pumpkin anyways?…By the end of the movie he was relaxed enough that when he went back to his desk he instantly saw what had eluded him for nearly an hour.

However, none of that meant that just because Cameron had infected her with his Tennessean country music taste, Daniel had to suffer when Vala wasn't even on base, let alone in the room. No, Vala and Sam had gone shopping, and Daniel had mistakenly thought he might get a some work done before his own personal cross to bear came back with _his_ credit card, (the thief lifted it at breakfast, _pre-coffee_) and proceeded to regal him with stories on the wonders that he was sure she would think the mall was. But somehow it seemed that without her hyper energy level to feed his own, all the stress and anxiety over the Ori came crashing back to him with a vengeance. That and, without Vala's presence, his office, his sanctuary actually, seemed far too quiet for his own good. _Music, you just need some music. _That had been his thought as he hit play on the stereo remote. But now he was thinking silence might just really be golden. As he extended an arm to hit the off button the disk changed tracks and with the first line of the next song, Daniel froze, hand dropping to rest on his thigh as each and every word hit home.

_She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice_

_A little crazy but it's nice_

_And when she gets mad you best leave her alone_

'_cause she'll rage just like a river_

_Then she'll beg you to forgive her_

_She's every woman that I've ever known_

_She's so New York and then L.A._

_And every town along the way_

_She's every place that I've never been_

_She's making love on rainy nights_

_She's a stroll through Christmas lights_

_And she's everything I want to do again_

_And it needs no explanation_

'_cause it all makes perfect sense_

_For when it comes down to temptation_

_She's on both sides of the fence_

_No it needs no explanation_

'_cause it all makes perfect sense_

_When it comes done to temptation_

_She's on both sides of the fence_

_She's anything but typical_

_She's so unpredictable_

_Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad_

_She's as real as real can be_

_And she's every fantasy_

_Lord she's every lover that I've ever had_

_And she's every lover that I've never had_

Daniel sat in stunned silence as the machine finished playing and quietly shut itself off. With a simple song, his world was suddenly turning inside out and reflecting his heart back at him with stunning clarity, but the only thought in his head was _'I could have written that.'_ Then that thought was joined with a million more asking how the writer could have known Vala? (they couldn't, could they?), was she really his fantasy? (oh, god, yes, that kiss on Prometheus _still_ gave him sheet-twisting dreams, and every time she wore those leather pants and jumped up on the table in his office, knees slightly spread, booted feet swinging, his pants felt like they were three sizes to small.), and just what the hell was he doing thinking of Vala as anything more then a friend and co-worker?(he was remembering the feel of her in his arms as she came back to life on the Ori home world, clinging to him, miraculously and blessedly _alive. _Watching her face light up as she and Teal'c beat him and Mitchell at basketball. The sound of her voice as she drove that alkesh into place at the super gate. Watching that same gate explode, blacking out, and only thinking _she's gone she's gone she's gone _over and over in his mind. Taking her to dinner and seeing the flower in her hair, wishing it was his fingers running through those long black tresses. Peeling off that ultra-tight armor in the brig on Prometheus, trying like hell to keep his eyes closed and failing miserably because he couldn't close out the feel of her skin under his hands, and damn if it wasn't the softest thing he could ever remember touching and he wanted nothing more than to press that perfect silky skin against his own, to nip and lick and taste every last inch of her till she was whimpering in need and want and then slowly slide into her warm folds, burying himself to the hilt, and losing his mind, body, heart, soul, and everything else that made up Daniel Jackson in the wild, gentle chaos that was Vala until stars fell and a hundred civilizations rose and fell only to rise once more. And then doing it all over again just as soon as he could see straight. He was thinking about how she tasted on his lips and felt in his lap and looked in complete awe at a fairy godmother turning mice into horses. And he was wondering if she was wondering the same thing sometimes and-)

"Daniel! Look at all the fabulous things Sam and I got! Daniel? Are you alright, darling?"

Snapping out of his revelations, Daniel blinked at the sight in his doorway before breaking into a grin. Vala was so loaded down with bags she could barely move, wearing two different hats on her head, pink heart shaped sunglasses, three necklaces, and had a lollipop sticking out of one corner of her mouth. Realizing she asked him a question-albeit one ending in darling-and he was just sitting there grinning like an idiot, he hasten to reassure her and take some of the bags.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about something. Let me help you."

With a grateful look that made his stomach give a little flip, Vala handed over her latest treasures and sank onto the couch with a sigh.

"Thanks." Her head fell back against the sofa, eyes closed, and with a gesture toward the desk she asked, "did you figure anything out?"

_Loaded question,_ he thought. Putting the bags on the floor, Daniel sat next to her on the couch and considered how much one little song could change life as he knew it.

"Yeah, I think so. At the very least I'm starting to. "

He studied her for a moment, as if imprinting her face on his mind's eye. Then, throwing caution to the wind, popped the million dollar question.

"So, what'd you find and how much is it going to cost me?"

_End of chapter_


	2. Anticipation

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate. If I did, they would be filming season eleven right now. And Daniel would keep winding up mysteriously naked.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Finally." Leaning against the side of the elevator, Vala rolled her shoulders and neck until, with a faint crack, they slipped into a more comfortable alignment. Shopping was fun but did the Tau'ri have to put so much space between their stores? Sam had taken her to something called a 'mall', which reminded Vala of an inside bazaar what with all the bustling mobs of people and the shops selling anything and everything. All that was missing was a couple of publicly displayed criminals at the center and you'd have a marketplace to fit just about any planet's society. She'd said as much to Sam who blinked, then laughed and said she was spending too much time with Daniel. Sam shook her head and remarked, "Any day now, I'm gonna walk in his office and he'll have you translating some tablet or something." Then they reached Victoria's Secret and conversation digressed into the practicality of cotton versus the luxury of silk.

Once Sam signed her back into the mountain and headed home, Vala made a beeline for Daniel's office. The idea that he might not be there was so far-fetched, it had become a way to tell which soldiers had been here for how long. The new ones asked if Doctor Jackson was still here, the older ones joked about it, and the veterans knew he'd be in office and found the jokes a waste of time, if only because they'd all been done to death. In a few cases, literally. For reasons Vala didn't entirely examine, she was looking forward to showing off her finds to him. Maybe because he'd roll his eyes and groan about the impact on his bank account, or launch into a diatribe over the history of trade and barter versus currency, all of which she would ignore, in favor of staring at the way that miraculous mouth formed the words rolling off his gifted tongue. It was reliable and easy between them now, something approaching safe. Once the elevator doors opened to reveal his floor, Vala gathered her various bags and headed for his office. Sure enough, the light was on, door open. Stopping just outside, she peeked in to make sure he wasn't asleep at his desk again.

He was sitting in his chair, back to the worktable, staring at the stereo like it had the secret of how to beat the Ori hidden in the digital display. The look of utter astonishment on his face had thrown her. A million bad scenarios running through her mind, she called his name, worry slipping out to make her voice sound a little too tight, too high-pitched.

Daniel jumped, spinning around to face her. His eye swept her up and down, making her suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she probably looked like a brightly decorated pack mule under all the bags. She was just about to make some remark about beauty sleep for them both when he smiled at her. Really smiled, with teeth and eye-crinkling and, oh my word, dimples. Vala decided right then and there she was going to wear pink sunglasses and suck lollipops every chance she got if this was the kind of response she could expect.

He took her bags and she sank onto the couch, letting the weariness the day's activity had brought make her head fall back and her eyes close. She felt Daniel take the seat next to her, but he stayed oddly quiet. Barely lifting her eyelids, she snuck a look to find him staring at her the way he had been the stereo. With a inner sigh, she braced herself for whatever he had found that would undoubtedly require them to go gating off to some remote planet and eventually wind-up with them getting shot at. Closing her eyes again, she asked,

"Did you figure anything out?"

"I think I'm starting to." Daniel's soft, almost peacefully, voiced answer caught her unprepared. Sitting up, she turned to face him, ready to wheedle the meaning of his strange behavior out of him but he cut her off with what was rapidly becoming their old stand-by. What had she bought and how much did she spend? She fell into the routine instinctively, pulling items out of bags and extolling their virtues. Daniel kept up his part, complaining about prices and asking why exactly did she need two black cocktail dresses when she currently lived on a secret military base twenty-eight levels below ground. His words followed the script, but hid tone and expressions were different. Whereas before he would seem indulgent and slightly distracted, now he appeared to be paying attention, listening when she told him why she chose this shirt over another or how she liked the feel of one pair of tennis shoes when she tried them on. He asked her what she thought of the mall itself and Vala stumbled over the descriptions of the shops, unnerved by a Daniel Jackson who focused on her instead of dusty books and old stones. When she mentioned Sam had said something about maybe going out again next week, he cocked his head and looked thoughtfully at her.

"You don't get out very much anymore, do you? Aside from when the team goes off-world, I mean. Does that bother you?"

She shrugged, looking down at the couch and fiddling with a loose thread.

"I don't mind it really. Least not all the time. I guess it's different enough still to keep me entertained." His face fell a little and Vala hastened to add, "Plus you're just so much fun to tease." He gave another rare smile and she knew that was the right thing to say, though why was unfathomable to her. _Unless he likes having me tease him…_Dismissing that irrational thought, she realized Daniel had gotten to his feet and was collecting her bags.

"Come on, I'll walk you o your room." He gestured for her to go first as he held the door. With no other option, she stepped out his office and waited as he locked up.

They were silent all the way to her room, but lost in her thoughts, Vala failed to notice. They came to her door much too soon and she went to take her things from Daniel.

"I'll take'em in for you." Opening the door, he walked past her and placed them on the table. His sudden courtesy threw her off balance again. _He insists I carry my own pack every mission, except for that time I twisted my ankle, shopping bags he unloads for me?_

"Everything okay?" His gentle voice seemed to be right next to her ear. Startled, Vala's head shot up…and collided with Daniel's chin.

"Daniel! Are you all right? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…You surprised me!" He held up a hand to ward off her move to examine his face and chuckled.

"You do realize you managed to ask if I was okay, apologize, and blame me all in the same breath, right?" He looked at her with a bemused expression before shaking his head and wishing her a good night. She had just enough time to echo the sentiment before he quietly closed the door. Barely aware of what she was doing, Vala began hanging her new clothes in the closet. She was wondering just what was going on with Daniel and if he'd somehow lost a bet and been forced to be nice to her. Because that's what had happened the whole night. First he smiled at her, then he asked her about her day and looked at her finds, then he walked her to her door, didn't complain when she hit him, of all things, and finally, he bid her a sincere and almost tender goodnight.

"What in the hell is going on here?"

A sudden trilling noise had Vala diving for cover behind the bed, her hand going to the knife hidden at the small of her back. A split-second later her brain caught up with her reflexes and she relaxed, pausing to collect herself before answering the phone.

"Hello?"

'You wanna have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Vala abruptly sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Daniel?"

His voice sounded odd over the phone line, but there was no mistaking the hint of amusement in his tone. "Yeeahh. You give someone else this number?"

"No, don't be silly. But-"

"Good. So since we've already established that you don't get out very often, and I technically owe you a meal, we can kill two birds with one stone. Have dinner with me tomorrow."

Dumbstruck for a moment, Vala pinched herself on the leg. "Ow!"

"Vala? What's wrong? What happened?" His alarm translated over the line as easily as his humor. Hastening to reassure him, she stood and leaned against the wall as she answered. "Nothing's wrong, I tripped over a bag. Do you really want to have dinner or are you just asking out of some misguided sense of charity?"

"No!" jerking the receiver away from her ear, Vala shot back with an equally emphatic "Really?"

The only response was static and she swallowed the lump in her throat. _That explains it. He thinks I'm a charity case. Some poor desolate alien he has to look after._ As she opened her mouth to tell him where he could stick his charity, Daniel sighed.

"I just thought you might enjoy a chance to see a bit more of Earth. And I had fun the last time we went out. Well, before the whole kidnapping, going crazy not knowing where you wereif you were okay or even alive scenario. That was not fun, trust me. But I guess I can understand if you'd rather not. Particularly after the kidnapping thing. And I know I haven't been the most welcoming but in my defense you didn't start out with the best possible introduction, those damn bracelets and all, but you have been trying to change and I wanted to show you I noticed and have a chance to properly express my appreciation of your efforts, without the Trust or the Ori making a mess of it, and I was thinking about you in my office and dinner sounded nice."

Daniel abruptly fell silent, leaving Vala to wonder at his long and slightly panicked explanation. _He went crazy when I was missing? Maybe he's not as distracted as I think. Wait, did he say he thinks about me in his office? Interesting, Doctor Jackson._ "What am I wearing?"

"What?"

Smiling at his bewilderment, Vala repeated her question, spacing the words out.

"What..am..I..wearing?"

"Wha? When?"

"When you think about me in your office."

"Vala." She could practically hear him rolling his eyes skyward.

"Yes, darling?" Innocence ringing in her voice, Vala grinned at their three-word conversation. Reprimand and acknowledgement boiled down to tone and inflection.

"Say you'll have dinner with me and go to bed."

"Beg your pardon?" Choking back a laugh, she felt her grin grow wider. _He has no idea what he said, does he?_

"Say you'll have dinner with me and go to bed…Vala!"

"Daniel, you have the best suggestions. Although in my opinion, dinner's negotiable."

A thump that sounded suspiciously like a forehead making contact with a solid object followed her statement.

"What am I going to do with you?" His long-suffering tone was tempered by the almost audible smile.

"I've got some ideas, but frankly I thought you understood the basics at least. Oh well, I'm sure you'll prove a quick study. First, you take your hand and place it on my-"

"Stop! I started this, I get to end it. I'll pick you up for dinner, _and only dinner,_ at nineteen-thirty, okay?"

"Spoilsport." She pouted for effect, even though he couldn't see her.

"Guilty. Now say yes and good night."

"Yes and good night."

Another sigh came over the line and Vala could almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Good night, Vala."

"Sweet dreams, darling."

She stood there listening to the dial tone for a minute be fore replacing the phone in its cradle. Falling back on the bed, she sent a quiet thanks to whomever made that bet wit Daniel. _Probably Teal'c. He's gotten down right meddlesome in his old age._ Just as she drifted off to sleep, her eyes shot open with a look of horror.

"I have nothing to wear!"

END OF CHAPTER

**A/N: **First, let me thank all of you for the lovely reviews. Subsequently the fact that this chapter is almost twice the length as the previous one is entirely your fault. I think I managed to respond to all off you, but if I missed one I apologize. Many, many hugs to Bijiy for luring my Vala muse out with the mention of their unfinished 'not-a-date'. That innocent little comment took this in an entirely new direction, for the better. I also thank my cat, who jumped on the keyboard at the right time and made me type the very important "No!". Lastly, I wanna address a few things Nona complained, er, questioned about the story.

Q1: Daniel is OOC. There is no way our lovable self-doubt king would hear one song and suddenly feel totally confident in his relationship with Vala.

A: I assure you he's not. The next chapter, which is Daniel's POV, will have all the little self-examining things he does. Also, the title of this story is 'Unplanned Intervention'. Now without really revealing who's doing the intervening, let me say they have the power to smooth over those sorts of things.

Q2: Vala says Teal'c is getting meddlesome in his old age, so that means this is set after 'Unending', right?

A: Umm, maybe. I haven't seen the last ten eps yet (sob), but I like the idea of T trying to get these two kooky kids to face their feelings, especially with the knowledge that they where crazy in love in the other time line. Soo, maybe. EDIT: Definitely. I have a scene already written involving team night, D/V dancing, Teal'c, and a jukebox. (hey, it's a _songfic._)

Q3: Excuse me, but you forgot the song.

A: Okay, I've rewritten this thing TWELVE times! I t was longer, much more angsty, and it sucked. So I tossed the song, reworked it and now it doesn't suck. I think. Don't fret, the songs will be back in the next chapter. //Spoiler: Danny's piano gets a workout.//

Hope that clears up a few things. The next chapter will be slow in coming as I'm going on vacation in a few weeks. Now click on the pretty purplish button at the bottom of the screen and leave a review.


	3. Chickens, Cellphones, and Ceilings

**Chickens, Cellphones, and Ceilings**

"What have I done?" Daniel stared at the cellphone in his hand as though it was the wellspring of all evil.

_Well, Dannyboy, you have just invited the SGC's resident flirt and former sex goddess whom you claim to have no real feelings for, bullshit by the way, out to dinner. And now you're up you-know-what creek without a paddle in sight._ Daniel took a moment to try and pinpoint when exactly his conscience stopped sounding like Jimmy Durante and started talking with the Minnesota tones of Jack O'Neill. _Machello. Body-swapping._ Moment identified, he went back to the topic at hand.

"It's not a big deal. It's just dinner. I can have dinner with my teammate and friend, right? It's not like I asked her to marry…" He trailed off as images of Vala flashed past his eyes. Her in a white dress, walking toward him. Laughing, chasing her upstairs. Catching her around the waist and falling back onto a bed. Her holding a small bundle of cloth, black hair peeking over the edge. The sun shining through a window to illuminate her sleeping next to him. Her above him, hair falling around both their faces. Seeing her eyes close, head thrown back, as he-_Whoa! Getting a little R-rated there!_

"Where in the hell did that come from?" Daniel frowned. He had no reason to be thinking about Vala like that. Or any desire to. Really.

_Bullshit. _Jack's sing-song voice echoed in his head.

"All right, so I think she's attractive, so what? I'm a archeologist, I'm not dead. It doesn't mean I want to go jump into bed with the woman." The memory of every touch he'd ever shared with Vala swarmed his senses. The sting of her fist in his face, the weight of her arm on his shoulder, the feel of her lips against his.

"Stop it. This is insane." Daniel shook himself. "What's going on with me?" Rewinding the last week in his mind, he tried to think of an artifact or device he'd touched that could be the reason for his sudden emotions but nothing came to mind.

_Maybe you just like the girl, Daniel. Maybe you've moved forward enough in your life that you're ready to finally let someone in again._

"Oh, who died and made you Oprah?" The sarcastic remark belied how much the Jack-in-his-head's comment, and boy, wasn't that weird, had resonated. Maybe Jack was right, maybe he was ready to let somebody get close again. "But her?"

_Yes, her! For cryin' out loud, Vala has got to be the only person in the galaxy that can out stubborn you, she's resourceful, intelligent, and smoking hot, too. So she's made mistakes, so what? What's the worst that could happen? You get your heart broken. Face it, Spacemonkey, you roll that welcome mat out all the time, for much less important reasons. Just relax, go with the flow, and don't ruin this by over thinking it!_

"Hey! I do not over think things. I just like to be thorough. A trait that has saved your sorry hide a time or ten, I might add. Besides, who asked your opinion anyway?" Daniel scowled.

"Uh, Doctor Jackson?"

Whatever Jack's response would have been was lost as the sudden voice snapped Daniel out of his thoughts and dropped him back into reality. Off guard, it took him a few seconds to locate the person who called his name. Standing a couple feet away from him was one of his neighbors, fifteen year old Nate Warren.

"Hi, Nate. How's things?" Daniel's response was automatic as he scanned his surroundings. Sometime between calling Vala while leaving the base for the night and Nate saying his name, Daniel had apparently, driven to the store, and by the looks of the cart, made a start on restocking his pantry.

"Everything's going fine, Dr. J. But ya know, if you're really hesitant over organic versus pre-packaged, you can always check the facts and stuff on line." He gave a half wave and headed back toward the front of the store, leaving Daniel puzzling over his answer before he realized he had not only had his half of the debate about Vala aloud, he had done so while addressing the frozen chicken display. Feeling another sigh threatening to make it's way past his lips, he went to checkout. After enduring the poorly hidden smirks and giggles of the girls behind the counter, Daniel was finally able to escape to the sanctity of his car.

"Well, I guess I can add Steve's Corner Market to the list of places in town I can't go anymore. If I keep this up, I'm gonna be driving to Denver just to get groceries." He turned the key and listened to the motor stall before finally starting. _Almost time to get a new jeep, too._ He managed to get the engine running somewhat strongly and headed home, still thinking over what 'Jack' had said. As if simply making the decision to let whatever happens with Vala happen would take care of all the things standing in their way. If only his life could ever be that simple.

Dropping his keys twice before getting the door open, Daniel picked the mail up off the floor and started unloading bags, his impulsive invitation to Vala occupying his mind. Barely aware of what his body was doing, he soon found himself sitting in the study, paying bills and balancing his checkbook. The quadruple digit deductions on his bank statement did nothing to help his frame of mind. Putting the rest of the mail and the subject of She-Who-He-Was-Not-Going-To-Name aside, Daniel's mood brightened when he recognized the writing on a slightly over sized envelope.

"Cassie, your timing is impeccable." Opening the flap revealed a photograph and one of those burnable CDs.

It was something the two of them had started not long after Janet died. The whole team had closed ranks around Cassie, looking after her anyway they could. Teal'c kel'no'reemed with her and went to her school open house, Jack took her fishing and to the movies on weekends, and Sam had practically moved in with her. Daniel wasn't sure what his role should be, only that he would do whatever she needed. He was even prepared to be the one she blamed. Then, one day as they were headed home after one of her soccer games, a song came on the radio that had been one of Janet's favorites and Cassie burst out crying. Daniel pulled over and held her as she sobbed and it suddenly became clear. He was the one who would show her how to exist in a world without Mom.

It was something she already knew in a roundabout way but after years of miracles, more then a few his own, the sudden void was enough to set the balance spinning out of control. His role was that of guide, leading her through the grief with late night phone calls and mid-afternoon raging in storage closets out the other side to scrapbooks and bittersweet smiles. When she went to college, Cassie began sending him songs and play lists to clue him in on her feelings on certain things or phases she was going through. Daniel knew sometimes it helped just to know someone was listening.

Slipping the CD into the player, Daniel examined the snapshot that accompanied it. There was Cass, beautiful and smiling, hair pulled up in an official 'I am Doctor Frasier, do not mess with me' twist. There were, however, two rather disturbing things about the photo. One was the smiling boy with his arms around Cassie's shoulders, and the other was the words 'Don't ask, don't tell Uncle Jack!' scrawled across the bottom.

"This is bad. Very, very bad." As if on cue, the music kicked in, re-enforcing the obvious couple message of the picture. Sitting back to listen, Daniel couldn't help but wonder when the whole planet started liking country.

_I swore that I was living free.  
Oh, you couldn't talk to me,  
And the pride that kept me, didn't want no company.  
Early morning subway train,  
Feeling lost and running late,  
Well, he held the car, and he gave his seat to me. _

I can't find nothing feels so fine as loving  
A good hearted man.  
He can soothe me, free me, oh I'm gonna marry  
That good hearted man.

I told him that he'd better go  
'Cause I was crazy and impossible,  
That my love was broken, my dreams had run off wild.  
But patient as the easy rain,  
He never turned away,  
Calling, "Hey sweet woman, you know you're not a child."

There just ain't nothing feels so fine as loving  
A good hearted man.  
He can soothe me, free me, oh I'm gonna marry  
That good hearted man.

Good hearted man, now the night makes sense,  
Because your tenderness is sheltering me.

So I'm trading in that hothead kid  
For a woman I can give to him.  
It ain't easy, but I'm gonna do the best I can  
For that good hearted man.

There just ain't nothing feels so fine as loving  
A good hearted man.  
He can soothe me, free me, oh I'm gonna marry  
That good hearted man.  
And I'm grateful, got to say thank you  
To a good hearted man.

His hand was already reaching for the phone before he remembered the time. Ten-thirty was not the best hour to have what promised to be a long and involved 'How well do you really know him, anyhow?' discussion. Once again, the next song picked up on his concerns, Cassie's not-so-subtle way of telling him that that was a subject for another day.

_Perfect sky,  
The sun and I are going our own way.  
I can tell  
No one else gonna know how to love me  
But the wind with his hands on my face,  
And the tall grass, Lord, how it shakes.  
All of my worries can just worry about me for a change. _

'Cause I ain't looking closely today.  
No, I ain't looking closely today.  
Like a river so wide, I'm gonna let it slide away.

Long way off,  
Someone calling ain't calling my name.  
Old blue jay,  
Fly away rather than explain.  
Water carries voices and the devil may care.  
Me, I don't have an answer to spare,  
No use in asking, I'm still feeling the same.

I ain't looking closely today.  
I ain't looking closely today.  
I'm feeling so high, I'm gonna let it fly away.

Daniel's eyes narrowed as the lyrics registered. It sounded suspiciously like a song about him and Vala. Which was ridiculous because Cassie didn't even know Vala, much less that the two of them had an upcoming dinner. Nobody knew. And he wasn't really planning on telling anyone, either. Of course, once they had dinner, then all the people in the restaurant would know and while Colorado Springs wasn't a small town, it also wasn't a huge town, as evidenced by the fact that Vala managed to go missing for two whole months the _last_ time they…

"Crap." Daniel stopped following the gossip train through the city as the idiocy of what he'd done hit him. "The Trust. Damn it, how could I forget?" Stinging pain in his hand from slapping the top of his desk brought his oddly strong emotions back under control.

"So we won't go out. I can cook, I'll make something and we can eat here. Maybe that will lessen the whole 'date' factor some. I mean, Sam and I have dinner all the time. Hell, I even invited Cam and Teal'c over after the thing with the Replicators at the Alpha Site. It'll be fine. We'll sit, we'll eat, we'll talk, we'll say good night and go to bed…Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Sensations that were rapidly becoming familiar flooded through at the mention of the word bed. Waiting until the last impression of Vala in his lap faded, and wishing the effects of said impression dissipated as easily, Daniel groaned.

"What the hell is going on? I didn't touch anything weird, I didn't eat anything strange, unless the Tuesday night commissary casserole counts, why is this happening to me now?" Turning off the lights, he made his way towards the bedroom, only to be blindsided be a vision of Vala in his shower as he passed the bathroom. Leaning against the wall, he would have sworn he caught a whiff of the herbal shampoo she used.

"God, the last time I had hallucinations this vivid was when Shifu…" Eyes snapping open, Daniel trailed off, disbelief and horror overcoming any amorous inclinations of his body.

"They wouldn't. They can't. They don't interfere. Except for Oma. But she's busy with Anubius, so that just leaves the Others and why would they care about my love life, or lack thereof, in the first place?"

_**Retribution. **_

The word came to his mind out of nowhere, letting him know exactly who it was from.

"Retribution for what?!" He yelled at the ceiling, losing the disbelief and horror and moving steadily towards pissed off.

_**For all you have done. For all who did not. And for all you will do.**_

"Ever here of Hallmark? Maybe a nice fruit basket? You do not just go around putting feelings into people! And what do you mean 'All I will do'?"

_**We merely increased your awareness of your own feelings. To actually bring them about would be against our laws. As you well know. We have simply lowered some of your self-taught barriers to allow you to feel the true depths of your emotions.**_

"Okay. First, do not mess around inside my head. It's disturbing. Second, I don't feel that way about Vala! Why does everyone think I'm pining away after her? She's a thief and a liar and a con. It makes no sense to feel anything significant about somebody whose just gonna turn around and leave me alone again. Okay, fine, I think she's attractive. And yes she's proven herself trustworthy and capable of committing to the team. But that doesn't mean you lot can just _decide_ I should run off and make babies with the woman for the rest of our natural lives! Don't you think I should get a choice in this?" The silence that followed his statement told him in no uncertain terms what the Others opinion was. Holding back another in what was becoming a long row of sighs, Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose.

"How about we make a deal? Since you've gone to all this _trouble_, I'll agree to keep an open mind about my 'feelings' towards Vala if, " he added threateningly, "You agree to leave me alone to figure it out myself. Deal?" Staring at the hall ceiling, Daniel hoped everyone in the surrounding apartments was sound asleep. _The last thing I need is for my landlord to hear me arguing with my hallway over it staying out of my relationships. She already thinks I'm a drug runner in a gang._

_**We concede that our overtures in this matter may have been slightly heavy-handed. We accept your proposal of compromise. You need not anticipate any further unnecessary intervention.**_

Thinking that that was entirely too easy, Daniel got up the floor and headed toward bed. As he went to turn out the light, though, parts of his conversation with the Others rushed back to the front of his mind. Giving the ceiling yet another death glare, he yelled skyward.

"Hey! How are you defining 'necessary intervention'? And what in hell's name did you mean by 'will do'?!" Not unexpectedly, he appeared to be alone in his thoughts again. Scowling again, he shoved at the pillows behind his head savagely.

"If this is how I acted when I was Ascended, it a wonder Jack didn't shoot me. Lousy non-corporeal beings. Fine, maybe I just won't give you a reason to intervene, huh? What do you think about that?" Daniel fell back against the bed, arm flung over his eyes, as he realized that was probably precisely what they had in mind. After all, these were the same beings who would have let Anubius kill off all life in the galaxy just to teach Oma a lesson. Which made him wonder what they'd do to him if he didn't keep that open mind bout Vala.

"When did my life become a soap opera?"

**END OF CHAPTER**

ooooooooooooooooooooo

A/N: This went in very different way then I planned. I sat down to write and this came out. Oh, well. Next chap starts the addition of the amazing Gaterunner as my co-author and muse. Needless to say, it's gonna get good! Now, click the magic button at the bottom of the screen and lemme know how you liked it! Seriously, 509 hits and only 10 reveiws?! Are you kidding me?

(Conversely, a huge whopping thanks to everyone who's put me on fav/alert lists. You guys make me write.)


	4. Planning: part 1

Disclaimer: According to Schrödinger, I simultaneously own Stargate and don't own Stargate. Go figure.

A/N: I humbly beg you apologies for the lateness of my update. My muse went on vacation without my consent. //_hides from rotten fruit throwers// _

The Importance of Proper Planning in the

Execution of a First Date

(or Nothing Ever Goes Right For Daniel)

Part 1

Daniel Jackson was afraid.

No, not afraid, petrified. Rocks in his stomach, weak in his knees, someone just shoot me already, I'd rather be dead, terrified.

"Give me a roomful of Priors any day." Scowling at his computer one last time, the reflection of his face in the powered down monitor was pale and drawn. Daniel took a deep breath and consciously relaxed his body, putting all thoughts out of his mind of why what he was about to do was a very bad idea and really wouldn't his time be much better spent working on those texts from Merlin's library-

"Stop. You're doing this. It'll be good for you." The face in the monitor was calmer, but even he could see the faint touch of panic showing in his eyes. Abruptly turning away from the image, he strode across his office and began the long walk down the corridor to the elevators. _It's just dinner, it's just dinner, it's just dinner._ Repeating his mantra of the past 18 hours, 34 minutes, and 30-odd seconds, he almost collided with Dr. Janis coming the other direction.

"Doctor Jackson! I was just on my way to see you. I was wondering if you had the time to go over the translations of the chest found on P2M-340? I think we've identified the root language but I wanted to double-check some of the syntax."

Sidestepping into the empty elevator car, Daniel started shaking his head before the other man finished. "Sorry, Dave, not tonight. I've got a d-, uh, appointment. Maybe you could send me a copy of the inscriptions and I can look them over tomorrow morning?" Barely hearing the response, he quickly hit the ground floor button before resting his head against the cool steel. _What the hell? I did _not_ just almost say 'date'. _

Date. The very word conjured up images of awkward conversations and uncomfortable pauses. Although, in hindsight, his forays into the dating world couldn't really be considered normal. How many other guys had to do a full-scale background check on the cute girl in the bookstore before they can even have coffee with them? Or have to try to explain that they didn't call for four days because they were being held captive by blue scaled aliens that find clothing offensive and in order to 'repent' they had to strip down to skin? Not many, he'd bet. _Which is why Vala's a good idea. She at least understands that intergalactic crises don't neatly schedule themselves for the third Tuesday of every month with a u in it. She's safe._

With a groan, Daniel thumped his forehead against the wall. "It really says how messed up my life has become if an ex-space pirating smuggler is a safe date." As the doors slid open, he squared his shoulders and headed for Vala's quarters. Gently knocking on the door, a giddy thought raced threw his brain. _Maybe she's not here. Maybe there was a sudden half-off sale at Victoria's Secret and she took off with Sam. Yeah, and maybe a technologically superior race of flying pigs will magically appear and carry off the Ori for a barbeque. _Smirking slightly at the mental image, Daniel raised his hand to really knock this time. The door opened before his fist could make contact however, and there was Vala. Oh, boy.

"Oh! Hi there. I was just about to head down to your office. I was rather looking forward to reminding you about our dinner…" Vala's enthusiastic answer petered out as she took in the pale and faintly trembling man standing before her. Daniel looked like he was about to be spontaneously asked to take the Stargate apart and put it back together blindfolded. With one hand.

"Darling are you all right? You're not sick, are you? Hang on, I'll call the infirmary." She started to the phone but only managed a few steps before a warm hand on her wrist stopped her.

"No, no, I'm fine. Really. I just," Cocking his head to the side, Daniel smiled slightly, "You caught me off guard, is all."

"How?" Allowing her self to be drawn back to stand in front of him again, Vala couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was off.

Daniel looked Vala up and down, taking in her black and white print skirt and soft gray top, her hair falling in gentle curls to her shoulders on either side of her face. "You just look…"

"What? Is this wrong? Sam said-" Concern filled her voice as she glanced at his own clothing choices for the evening. Dark jeans with a cream-colored sweater, ending oddly enough with an open collar that flashed the smallest hint of tanned skin beneath. The only thing possibly out of place were the black combat boots still on his feet, but they didn't exactly stand out.

"No, Sam was right, it's perfect. My mind's just scattered today." Hastening to reassure her, Daniel was privately wondering why he could look at Vala in her dominatrix leather get-ups and that barely there excuse for a dress she wore as a Gou'ald, but it took her putting on something considered 'casual' for him to be hit by the fact that she was, to put it mildly, an attractive woman. _Yep, Gate travel screws with you. Big-time._ Shaking his head again, Daniel offered her his arm and a charming smile.

"Shall we?"

2 A/N: This is the first in the chapters that involve the 'date', but as I was writing it I realize it would be a gigantic one if I didn't break it up some. So you get a little now and a little more later. Needless to say, as the title implies, things don't go as Danny plans…

Psst! Reviews make me smile!


	5. Planning: Part 2

The Importance Of Proper Planning

In The Execution Of A Date

Part 2

The elevator trip to the surface had never seemed quite so long a ride before. Daniel nervously stole a glance at the woman beside him. She flashed him a small smile and let her eyes sweep up and down his body in a way that was obviously checking him out. With another glance at the floor level, three more to go, Daniel cleared his throat.

"Did you say something?" She all but pounced on the noise, as if she were eager for him to make a comment.

"No! No, just, uh, allergies. You know." Flashing a tight smile that Jack had once named his 'Oh god, help me!' face, Daniel looked at the floor numbers again. Still at three. Damnit.

"You should wear civvies more often. You look nice." Her soft voice startled him. _What the..? How did she get over here so quietly?_ He backed against the wall of the car, trying for casual and probably only reaching mildly freaked. She followed him in the narrow space, stopping just short of the two-feet personal space barrier.

"Yeah, well. Practicality rules. Got to be ready to go off world at a moments notice and such." Answering in a voice that sounded to loud even to him, Daniel wondered how exactly he always wound up in these situations. On-world, off-world, in space, with his memory, without it, sick, healthy, it didn't seem to matter. Was there some sort of signal he was broadcasting that just screamed 'harass me'? _Maybe I should stop bathing. Or gargle with onion juice._

With a slight ping, the doors slid open, revealing the blessed safety of the gate checkpoint. Slipping out of the elevator, he made a beeline for the desk.

"Bring the keys this time?" Vala's amused tone hit his ears and Daniel felt something in the pit of his stomach uncoil. Turning to follow the sound, he saw her leaning up against the wall by the door, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place. Just as he left her when he realized he left his keys in his BDUs.

Pushing all thoughts of flirting majors in elevators to the back of his mind, Daniel signed out and held the door as Vala grabbed her bag off the counter and stepped outside.

"Have a good night, Doctor J. See you tomorrow." The desk sergeant allowed himself a grin as he watched Daniel open the car door for Vala before heading to the driver's side.

"I'm so winning the pool."

A/N: 'nother short one for you. Just couldn't find a better place to split it. The next one should be longer, though. Thanks for all the great reviews! Their why you're getting this now instead of having to wait while I tweak for a better cut. //_runs off to search for more McDex fic_//


	6. Planning: Part 3

The Importance Of Proper Planning

In The Execution Of A Date

Part 3

The rain the local weatherman predicted would pass them by was beating on the roof of Daniel's jeep as he navigated the winding road down Cheyenne Mountain. He and Vala had exchanged the small talk for not uncomfortable silence, broken only by the sound of the windshield wipers and an occasional clap of thunder. Surprisingly, Daniel found the ball of nerves that had been in residence near his ribcage all day was almost gone, replaced by a feeling of normalcy. As if leaving the base at the end of the day with Vala by his side was something he had always done.

Which was simultaneously reassuring and disturbing all at the same time. Because how was he to know that the good feelings he was having were really his and not some sort of Ascended dating help. _Which is too creepy to contemplate._ _Ascended Oh, god. _He was fairly certain the voice inside that was telling him to run screaming from the car was his. At the very least, it sounded like him. Or rather, it sounded like the him that berated the other him for snake-baiting whenever they got captured.

He snuck another look at Vala, half-expecting her to be asleep, only to find her looking at him as well. Their eyes met and for a split-second he had the irrational urge to pull the car over. She laughed and shook her head, dark hair shimmying over her shoulders.

"We're being silly, aren't we?" Sobering slightly, she turned in her seat, as far as the seatbelt would allow anyways, and cast an appraising look at him.

"What do you mean?"_ This is it, this is where she says this is a mistake and that we shouldn't have tried this again. _Tensing, Daniel gave all his attention to stopping at the light, making sure he lined the tires up with the white line.

"You, me, this thing we're doing." Vala's hand swept out to encompass the whole front seat of the car.

"If you say so." Swallowing around the lump in his throat, and really where did that come from, because there was no way he was getting choked up about this. _You've been through the rejection thing a million times over. Get her back to base, find a strong alcoholic beverage, and try and forget it ever happened. _Out loud he said, "Let me just find a parking lot and I'll turn around." Hitting the gas with a little more force then was necessary, he began peering out the rain streaked window.

"Turn around? Why? What's wrong?" Vala sounded slightly confused, but before she could ask more, Daniel cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"If you didn't want to have dinner with me you could have just said no, Vala. I mean, granted the last time ended rather poorly and there was that whole bounty hunter thing at Mitchell's reunion so I would understand if you're hesitant about going out with me on earth. You haven't really been given a reason to, shopping with Sam aside. We do team nights on base, and half the time we all sleep there, too. But if you weren't interested, a simple 'No, thanks' would have been enough. Unlike what Jack may lead you to believe, I can take a hint and no for a answer. Or maybe you feel some sort of debt toward us or something and you think humoring me is an easy out but honestly, if you think this is silly or stupid or ridiculous, say so and be done with it. I'm a grown man, I can handle it."

Daniel had by this time found a parking lot of a gas station and pulled in. The light from the neon signs cast the car in a strange sort of blue light, bathing the half of Vala's face he could just make out in the glow.

"Are you through ranting?" The calmly spoken question seemed to confirm his suspicions. Vala wasn't calm. She yelled and raged and fought with him over every little thing, from what to watch on TV to who got the last blue jello. Calm from her was virtually unknown and that was bad.

"Yes." Daniel stared out there window, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that even in the dim light he could see the tendons standing out in harsh relief.

"Good." Same calm tone, same soft accent._ Would it kill her to show a little emotion? _As best he could tell she hadn't even moved since he started talking. Of course, without actually looking he had no why to know, and damned if he was going to give her the satisfaction of seeing what her refusal cost him.

If he had been looking, however, he might have picked up a hint as to what she was fixing to do. As it was, he barely had time to process her hands grabbing a double-handful of his shirt and yanking him clear over to the other side of the car before all he knew was her lips taking advantage of his slack-jawed mouth.

Vala was a hell of a kisser, that much he knew. But somehow he'd failed to pick up on the sheer sensory overload she could pack into it. The rain on the roof, the gas station outside, the seat belt cutting across his chest, the gear shift stabbing him in the thigh, all were pushed aside for the much more enjoyable feeling of her waist under his hands and her tongue mapping every last centimeter of his tonsils. It was over as suddenly as it started, with Vala pushing him back into his seat while still keeping her fisted grip on his sweater. She leaned forward to compensate, her face close to his, eyes glittering in anger.

"First of all, how dare you imply that I would be so low as to consider having a relationship with any man, let alone you, as some sort of payback. I may have done a lot of things in my lifetime but never did I sell my body under my own control. Second, I was referring to the two of us tip-toeing around each other like pickpockets at a policemens' dinner. I meant it was silly for us, two fully grown adults who've faced death and actually achieved it on more than one occasion, to be nervous over a little thing like a simple meal!

"Third, the idea that something could go wrong, someone could try and attack us had crossed my mind, but I really don't think I give a flaming damn whether they do or not. The threat of imminent demise has never stopped me before and it's not about to start now. So take whatever idiotic ideas you had about me playing you and forget it. Because whether you like it or not I'm staying. I'm happy here. I have a family here. So get over this abandonment complex you have, because I'm not leaving."

Vala punctuated her last words with a poke at his chest. She was poised over him in the narrow front seat, pressing him against the door, finger ready to resume punishment on his breastbone just in case.

"Don't make promises you won't keep, Vala." Daniel intended it to come out scathing, to remind her and himself that she was a wanderer and would no doubt get bored with this life, bored with him, and take off. Instead all he managed was a whisper, unable to hide the premature disappointment in his voice.

"Oh, Daniel." Vala sighed, warm breath brushing his face. She relaxed her grip on his shirt, moving her other hand up to cup his cheek in what had become their gesture. "Life's done a number on both of us, hasn't it? We can't seem to catch a break. Between religious zealots, Gou'ald and even plain old politics, this universe seems to have it in for us."

"I'm tired of living like everything could go wrong at any minute, though." Daniel tightened his hold on her waist. "And I don't believe in pre-ordained destinies, Vala."

"So?" Her eyes locked onto his in the shadows, daring him to say something.

"So." He took a deep breath._ Here goes nothing. _"So, let's go for it. Whatever happens, right?" Daniel found himself holding his breath as Vala got that look that said she was on the verge of making an important conclusion.

"This isn't some sort of joke thing, is it? We're not on camera, this isn't going to be broadcast all over the base tomorrow?"

"God, I hope not." Daniel seriously doubted Sam or Mitchell would dare bug his car and Jack was holed up in Washington, too far to do any real damage. The only real question mark was Teal'c since he'd come to regard Vala as a sort of much younger sister, but Teal'c trusted him so Daniel thought not.

"Good." Vala flashed him her trademark broad grin. "Then there's nobody to see us if we hop in the back and have wild, passionate sex?"

"Vala!"

**_END OF CHAPTER_**

A/N: Here you go, the rest of the Proper Planning chapter, a day late due to a power outage. (In which I lost the first draft of this chapter. Arrgh! But I threw a kiss in during the rewrite!) Up next is the dinner, in which many things go wrong in succession, Daniel gets hurt, and someone has a rude awakening.

A big, huge thank you to everybody who's put me on a fave list or alert. I've passed 1,000 hits already!

And remember, four out of five fanfic writers agree, reviews keep us going and the fifth one should chill out and embrace the love.


	7. Would You Go With Me

**Would You Go With Me**

**(the return of the songs)**

Vala tugged on the hem of her skirt, smoothing the sheer fabric back into place after her impromptu balancing act on the front seat. _Jack was right, sometimes you have to just grab Daniel and shake him to get him to understand._ Granted, her way of shaking him up was a lot more fun then what Jack had suggested. Not to mention, less messy. Glancing to her left, she couldn't help but grin. Daniel's soft cream sweater was rumpled around his neck where her hands had pulled him to her, his glasses were knocked slightly askew from their kiss, and his hair was sticking up from were she had run her hands through it. All in all, her distraction technique worked like a charm. _Definitely more fun. It's not, however, his idea of conducive to going out in public._

"So, darling, what fabulous restaurant are you taking me to this time?" _And how presentable should we be?_

"Oh, well, um," Daniel took his eyes off the road for a minute to give her a sheepish look. "Considering the mess we got into last time and it being Saturday night, which is typically very busy this time of year, I thought we might go somewhere different."

The deliberately unimportant tone drew Vala's attention. Wherever this place was, Daniel obviously thought she might get upset over it. Which begged the question…

"Where are we going?" Turning back to the window again, she matched his nonchalance. _Two can play that game._

"My place."

"What?" Vala's voice sounded weak even to her. Though it might have something to with the fact that she couldn't seem to draw a breath.

Turning to give her a small grin, Daniel stopped at the corner before repeating in a voice she could now tell held amusement, "My place. My apartment, that is. If that's okay with you, of course. We could always go somewhere else…"

"No, no, that's fine. It, uh, just surprised me, that's all. I wouldn't have thought you'd feel comfortable having me there." Vala quickly shut her mouth before she could ramble any more. She went back to her inspection of the passing storefronts, but Daniel reached over and turned her face back to his, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"I trust you, Vala. All the time. With my life, with my family, and with this galaxy. It may be had to tell sometimes, but I swear you have earned that." His soft voice was filled with quiet conviction as he stared at her, willing her to believe him. Vala found herself momentarily speechless. _Damn him, I wonder if he does that on purpose._

"Okay." Her voice, by comparison, was filled with surprise and seemed a bit too loud for the remarkably little amount of space between the two of them. With a rueful look, he pulled back, shaking his head slightly.

"Before this turns into a reprisal of the gas station, maybe I'd better get back to driving."

"Where's the fun in that?" She pouted back at him, which made him chuckle as he reached for the radio.

"Here, Sam got me satellite for Christmas last year. Why don't you see if you can find something good on." Holding up a hand he added, "And please, no rap tonight."

Sticking her tongue out at him, Vala turned her attention to the channel button, scrolling through the talk, sports, classical, and yes, the rap station, before settling on country. Evidently she had good timing as the next song began moments later, it's tell-tale twanging guitar making Daniel give a little groan.

_Would you go with me _

_If we rolled down streets of fire  
Would you hold on to me tighter _

_As the summer sun got higher  
If we roll from town to town _

_And never shut it down_

Would you go with me 

_If we were lost in fields of clover  
Would we walk even closer _

_Until the trip was over  
And would it be okay _

_If I didn't know the way_

If I gave you my hand 

_Would you take it  
And make me _

_The happiest man in the world  
If I told you my heart couldn't beat _

_One more minute without you, girl  
_

_Would you accompany me _

_To the edge of the sea  
Let me know if you're really a dream  
I love you so, _

_So would you go with me_

Vala gave Daniel a sideways glance, wondering if he was listening to the words of the song.__

Would you go with me 

_If we rode the clouds together  
Could you not look down forever  
If you were lighter than a feather  
Oh, and if I set you free, _

_Would you go with me_

If I gave you my hand 

_Would you take it  
And make me _

_The happiest man in the world  
If I told you my heart couldn't beat _

_One more minute without you, girl  
_

_Would you accompany me _

_To the edge of the sea  
Help me tie up the ends of a dream  
I gotta know, _

_Would you go with me  
I love you so, _

_So would you go with me _

Daniel reached across the seat to grasp her hand, and Vala looked up to see him smiling back at her, a question in his eyes.

"Would you?" The amusement was gone from his voice, absolute seriousness replacing it. She got the feeling this was a turning point. That the outcome of all the heated flirting and subtle encouragements would rest on her answer.

She opened her mouth to speak but her response was lost as the world turned sideways and flying glass and the sounds of crushing metal filled the air. Some obscure part of her brain registered the impact to her chest as an airbag, a protective device Sam told her about and one she had laughed at. _They should install these things on motherships._

As suddenly as it started, the whirlwind of activity stopped. Carefully opening eyes she didn't remember closing, Vala checked herself over. Satisfied there were no breaks or bruises beyond shallow scratches from the busted window, she turned her attention to the state of the car.

"If this is the Trust again, I'm going to be very unhappy." Murmuring under her breath, she peered through the cracked windshield to scan the surrounding area. No men in cheap dark suits were approaching to carry them off. So that took the Trust out of the picture, for now at least. The jeep had come to a stop, if one could call a forty-five degree angle between a thrift shop and a newspaper stand a stop, on the opposite corner from where they had been before. The whole front half of the vehicle was twisted and mangled almost beyond recognition, various parts strewn across the intersection.

Of the other car that she belatedly realized must have hit them, she saw no sign. In fact their part of town was mainly deserted. Coming to the welcome conclusion that they weren't about to be drugged and dragged off, Vala turned her focus on the alarmingly quiet archeologist in the driver's seat.

Daniel was slumped over his own deflated airbag, head turned away form her, right arm stretched out over the steering wheel to touch the fractured glass in front of them. Shifting forward as much as the crumpled dashboard would let her, Vala reached for his shoulder.

She brought it back wet with the blood that was spreading over the back of his sweater, staining the gentle cream with shocking crimson.

"Daniel?"

_**END OF CHAPTER**_

So, how evil am I? (What? You didn't think we go too long with out some Danny-whumping, did you?)

If the bunnies let me, things will be picking up from here on out, as I'm desperate to get to the part GatePirate started me on. (It's coming, I swear!)

To those who are about to review, I commend you.


	8. And then I kissed him Twice

"And I kissed him. Twice."

The steady beeping of a heart monitor broke through the haze of Daniel's awareness. _Not again._ Rising past the familiar disorientation being unconscious caused, he careful not to move, willing his breathing to remain the same slow draw. Too many years of being captured had taught him the only thing less fun then trying to run from enemies who want to kill you is running while shaking off dizziness and nausea. And really, SG-1 must hold some sort of escape and evade world record title. Along with most times cheating death, most eleventh hours reprieves, most times tortured, etc. etc. Come to think of it, if the SGC ever went public, Guinness was gonna have to put out some sort of Stargate Special Edition. _Now I know I hit my head. I sound like Mitchell._

As feeling returned, he did a quick assessment. Finding everything in more or less working order, aside from the fact that he was sore everywhere, Daniel carefully cracked open an eye. The sight that greeted him was not the drab grey-green of the base infirmary but harsh white tiles and too bright fluorescent light panels. Confused, he forced his sluggish brain to replay the events leading up to now. _I was at the base, did some translations for SG-4, cataloged some more of Merlin's library, picked up Vala for dinner, got kissed by…wait. Vala!_

"Vala!" Daniel reared up, fighting against hands that were suddenly pushing down on his chest. He kicked out, feeling the impact of his boots against a body. Grabbing the arm of the blurry white shape at his shoulder, Daniel dug his fingers into the wrist, and was rewarded with his captor's yell. Another set of arms wrapped themselves around him from behind, pulling him against their owner's body. He froze but not feeling a knife or gun at the edge of his neck, Daniel made to drive his elbow into the person's stomach.

"Seeing as how we've already discovered I can kick your ass, I'd really advise against doing that, darling." The not quite Australian accent broke through the lingering fog in his mind and Daniel spun in the arms holding him, _Vala's _arms. Blinking brought her smirk into focus and he gaped at her.

"You all right?" Her smile dropped for a second, concern showing in her face. Some distant part of his brain acknowledged that she hadn't dropped her hold on him.

"What?" Daniel's eyes traveled over that shallow cuts on her face and her neck, marks made all the more pronounced by the fact that she was shirtless. Averting his gaze from the pale lace that was her only claim to modesty, he finally took in the blurry room around him, which was in fact a cubicle made up of hospital curtains. The groaning nurse on the floor and the rather unhappy looking doctor on the other side of the bed completed the picture. He brought his attention back to the woman holding him and the final, fragmented memories clicked into place. _We were driving. Talking. A car ran the light and hit us. Oh, man. _

"Daniel, do you remember the car accident?" Vala moved her hands up to grip his arms, peering into his eyes as if she could see straight into his brain and check for damage.

"Yeah, I think. Are you all right? You're bleeding." Daniel swiped his thumb over the scratch on her neck. The reality of the fact that they were almost killed right here on earth was unsettling to say the least, and he found himself sliding toward the edge of the bed, resting his hands on her waist. She tightened her embrace in response, reassuring him she was okay.

"Both of you are suffering from a multitude of cuts and bruises, Miss Mal Doran has a slight case of whiplash, and you Mr. Jackson-"

"_Doctor_ Jackson." They both interrupted the E.R. doctor at the same time, Vala glaring at him over Daniel's head.

"Very well, Doctor Jackson has a sprained shoulder, a possible concussion, a mild case of airbag burn, and eight stitches in the back of his head." Dr. Turner, as his name badge identified him, paused in listing their injuries to help the nurse up off the floor. "Not that it's slowed you down much. Now that you awake, Dr. Jackson, I'd like to examine you a bit more"

"I'm fine." Pulling away from Vala, Daniel turned to squint at the two men at the foot of the bed. "Although I could use my glasses."

"We'll see about getting you your effects. But I'd really like to take a closer look at you." Pulling a penlight out of his pocket, Dr. Turner made to approach him only to be cut off by Vala.

"Now Doctor. Daniel has suffered much worse then this before and lived to tell the tale. I just _know_ a physician of your expertise must be in great demand, so if you'd just have someone drop our things off and point us in the direction of our car, we can be out of your head and on our way." Blocking Daniel from the doctor's advance, she gave a blinding smile.

"Hair. Out of your hair." Whispering the correction, Daniel bit back a grin at the look on the other man's face. A shirtless Vala pouring on the charm was a force to be reckoned with.

"Uh, I'd, I'd love to, but um, your car was totaled in the crash." Dr. Turner stammered.

"Totaled?" Daniel found the urge to grin vanishing as he tried to picture what might remain of his jeep. He shakily stood, waving off Vala's attempt to help. "Totaled. As in wrecked. Trashed. Ruined. Gone."

Something in his tone must have set the nurse's warning bells off, as he quickly backed out of the room, muttering about getting them shirts. Daniel absently noted he was bare-chested. "I think we'll be leaving now."

Now that Vala was no longer shielding him with her bra, Dr. Turner stepped forward again. "I need to take a closer look at you since-"

"Shine that light at me and I will hurt you." _Damnit, I'm channeling Jack again._

"Daniel." Vala produced his glasses from somewhere. "Let's just go, all right?" Dr. Turner opened his mouth to protest but Jack's spirit was in full force as she shot him a death glare that had his jaws snapping shut with an audible click.

"Fine." Shoving his cracked glasses into place, Daniel tugged back on the nearest curtain and barely managed to avoid ramming headfirst into the nurse.

"Found you guys some clothes, I hope they fit. I got a top from one of the nurses for you, ma'am, but I had to get a tee from an EMT for you. Like I said, hope it fits." The man abruptly stopped, staring at Daniel's shoulder. He knew what the nurse was looking at, had seen it often enough himself, but Daniel glanced down anyway, considering the slightly oblong burn. The scar was faint, faded from sun and time, but still pale enough to show in the unforgiving hospital lights. A reminder of the way things could have, and in one universe anyway, had gone. And something he really didn't want to think about right now.

"Thanks." Grabbing the clothes, Daniel spun on his heel and duck between the curtains again only to walk right into Vala's backside. Stumbling back to slam against the edge of the heart monitor, he groaned. _I hate concussions._

"Feeling frisky, darling?" Vala steadied him for a moment before gently pushing him back to sit on the bed. "Change your shirt and let's blow this fruit stand."

Dutifully pulling on the garment thrust his way, Daniel sighed. "I have got to stop letting you hang around with Mitchell." A innocent grin was the only response.

Making their way out of the hospital after having signed forms on top of forms agreeing not to sue if they spontaneously collapsed and died before making it to the curb, Daniel was dismayed to find the rain still coming down. _Maybe I just shouldn't date. _

"Well, which way?" Vala looked expectantly at him the cheerfulness in her voice at odds with his own increasingly dour mood.

"Which way to what, Vala?" Wiping at the water streaming down his face, Daniel felt exhaustion creeping over him.

"To your apartment, silly. Unless standing in the rain is your idea of a good time, in which case we need to get you something alcoholic very quickly." She barely spared him a glance as she pulled her dripping hair into a ponytail with what appeared to be a hospital I.D. bracelet, completely missing Daniel's nearly flawless impersonation of a goldfish.

"Are you nuts? We are not walking to my apartment in the pouring rain. We'll catch pneumonia." He crossed his arms and glared in the direction of the road. Vala studied his posture for a minute before raising her hand and smacking the back of his head. Daniel spun around.

"Ow! What the hell was that?!" Rubbing the injured area, he backed up to the wall, keeping her in his line of sight.

"According to Gibbs on TV, it's called a 'headslap'." Vala stood there, looking mildly disappointed.

"Well, why, may I ask did you decide to 'headslap' a person with a head wound?"

"Because you told me not to kiss you anymore." Nodding like that explained everything, she smugly folded her own arms.

Daniel was still rubbing his head and about to list the various damages she could have caused when he finally took a good look at the woman in front of him. Laughter bubbled up out of his throat, erasing the depressed feelings plaguing him.

"What?" Hands shifting to her hips, Vala narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe I should get Dr. Turner and have him look you over again."

Holding his bruised side, Daniel struggled to speak over the laughter. "No, no, I'm fine, really. It's just a little hard to argue with someone who has stethoscope wearing sheep all over their shirt."

Glancing down at herself, then back at him, Vala gave a wry smile. "You're not looking so intimidating yourself, there, Dr. Jackson."

Still chuckling, Daniel finally took a good look at his own borrowed attire. A rust colored muscle shirt a size to small with a saxophone and a cymbal, separated by a plus sign, gracing the front. Putting the pieces together in his mind, Daniel felt a blush creep up his neck and across his face. Eager to steer Vala's nimble mind away from the meaning, he squinted at the nearest street sign. "God, what road are we even on?"

"We appear to be on the corner of South Greentree and Third."

"South Greentree?" Taking in their drowned rat appearances, Daniel gave a slight smile. "I know where we can go."

A loud pounding startled Sam wide awake. Hand finding the 9 mil on the nightstand with practiced ease, she swung her bare feet to the floor. Slipping through the dark house, she paused to check the microwave's digital readout. 2:42 AM. _Great._

Moving silently toward the front door, she felt adrenaline pumping through her veins as a laundry list of possible attackers and escape routes ran through her mind. Left hand reaching for the peephole cover, she froze as muffled voices came from the other side of the wood.

"If you'd just let me have five seconds with that thing, we could be inside and dry by now."

"For what I hope is the last time, you are not going to break into this house!"

Dropping her ready stance and flicking the safety on her gun, Sam braced her self for what was surely going to be an interesting explanation from the duo. Unlocking the door, she swung it open and stared at the miserable portrait of her two friends. Firearm thudding to the floor from a suddenly limp hand, she collapsed against the doorjam in helpless laughter.

Daniel and Vala were huddled up under the overhang of her house, soaking wet and covered in mud. Vala had a newspaper tri-corner hat perched on her head, and the gray top Sam had loaned her had been replaced by a lime green smock. Daniel was sporting a upside down shoebox and the tightest muscle shirt she had ever seen him in, which happened to end a good two and a half inches above his belt.

"You guys…look…completely…ridiculous." Gasping for breath in between snorts of laughter, Sam waved them inside.

Twin scowls were shot her direction as the two of them made their dripping way into the house. Sam opened her mouth to find out what had happened to them when Daniel held up his finger.

"Don't ask. Just. Don't. Ask. I will explain everything in the morning over coffee but right now we need showers, clothing, and a place to sleep. Not necessarily in that order. "

"Okay, Daniel. Why don't you take the guest room and us girls will bunk together." Still giggling, Sam stepped around the muddy boot prints and led Vala to her bedroom.

"Detail time. What happened to you guys?" Pulling out and extra set of pajamas for the dark haired woman, Sam sat back on the bed and waited for the story.

"Oh, the usual. We argued, made up, agreed to try dating, got in a car crash, charmed our way out of the hospital, almost got run over by a ice cream truck, fell down an embankment, got mistaken for hookers, got in a fight, hitched a ride on a street sweeper, and finally wound up here, bone-tired and in desperate need of hot water." Vala rattled of the list as she made for the shower. Sticking her head back out, she added. "And I kissed him. Twice."

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

**A/N:** //gives you all pouty Daniel eyes and begs for forgiveness for the late update//

Sorry it's so late, guys. But man, this part did not want to be written and then computer problems made for some lost work and _then_ FFN wouldn't let me update. And HP7 came out and I had to read that and then I got kidnapped by Harry/Draco slash bunnies (WTF, I know, I know.) And now my Dad's in the hospital, so I might take longer getting the next part up, too. Bear with me, though! Extra candy to whoever reviews with the message on Danny's shirt.

P/N: Nona, I gave you Daniel Scar, now bug off and leave me alone!

And recent statistics show: fic writers who get reviews are happier, healthier, and much more productive than those who don't…so please, please, please review!


	9. And A Tok'ra Morning To You

And A Tok'ra Morning To You, Too

The tantalizing smell of fresh coffee pulled Vala out of sleep. She rolled out of the bed, eyes taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Hand going to her waist, she was only faintly surprised when her fingers met skin instead of her knife. A door to the left cracked open and she hoisted the nearest object to throw.

"Don't shoot! It's just me." A pale blond head peered out from behind the door and Vala gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, Sam. I didn't remember where I was for a minute." With a shrug, she sat the vase back on the dresser and jumped back on the bed. "What's up?"

The other woman came into the room and took a seat across from her. "A preposition, the sun, and Teal'c eyebrow." Grinning at Vala, Sam added with a shake of her head, "But not one linguist-slash-archeologist-slash-anthropologist currently taking up my sofa."

"Sofa?" Working her fingers through her tangled dark hair, Vala frowned. "What happened to the guest room?"

"He didn't make it that far. Stopped to take off his boots and fell dead to the world. You must have really tired him out if he's sleeping through the coffee brewing." Sam shot her an inquisitive look.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Samantha, I'm sure he's sleeping off the car crash." Vala took the sweats offered and pulled them on.

"About that." Sam said over her shoulder as she lead the way to the kitchen. "Do you think it was the Trust again?"

Vala was already shaking her head. "I doubt it. I was out for at least a couple of minutes and Daniel didn't wake till we were in the E.R. If they wanted to grab me they had plenty of chances." She trailed off as they passed the couch, a tension she hadn't even realized she felt easing at the sight of said linguist sprawled on the cushions.

Daniel's six foot frame was draped over the five foot sofa, left arm dangling, fingertips touching the floor. His shoulders hit the armrest, leaving his head to tilt back towards the ground. The red burn from the airbag looked more vicious in full light, and the purple bruising from his seatbelt peeked out over his collar. Vala reached a hand out and brushed a bit of dried mud from his forehead before adjusting the blanket draped over his body.

"Scary, isn't it? To think after all we do, we're still vulnerable here at home." Sam whispered as she came to stand next to her. Wordlessly, Vala nodded, eyes never leaving Daniel's relaxed face. She felt Sam take her hand and allowed herself to be tugged toward the kitchen again. "I remember the time his appendix ruptured."

Vala settled in at the table while Sam fixed the coffee. She loved to hear stories about the team before she knew them. Teal'c was her usual source for their adventures as the original SG-1 and she was beginning to understand what other people meant when they said that the team had more last-minute saves then anyone. Vala took the mug from Samantha, finally remembering what an appendix was, (hers apparently was removed sometime), Vala prepared herself for a story. "What happened?"

"Well," Sam tucked her legs under her in the chair opposite and leaned back. "We had a four day leave and Jack, of course, decided we should go for a team dinner before we went our separate ways. Teal'c, Jack and I all met up at the elevators at seven but Daniel wasn't there. We figured he was just caught up in something and would show up soon, so we headed out." Sam paused to take a sip form her cup.

Frowning, Vala looked at her. "Why didn't you-"

"Go drag him out of whatever century he had his head buried in and make him come with us?" At the other woman's nod, Sam sighed. "I don't really know why, although I have my suspicions, but for some reason the four of us were drifting away from each other a bit. What seems second nature now took thinking about back then. I guess we thought if Daniel wanted to be there, he'd be there." The blond shook her head again. "I wish we'd made him come. Or even called to say we were leaving."

Vala caught the shadows in Sam's eyes and wrapped her hands tighter around the warmth of her mug. Bracing herself, she asked, "What happened?"

"Daniel never showed. We just thought it was another one of his all-nighters but when we got back to base, something just didn't feel right. We went to check on him and he was on the floor, curled up in a ball. He had a fever of a hundred and two and, god, he was so pale. He was rushed into surgery and came out fine. Got a pretty impressive scar, I hear. But man, I'll never forget how terrifying it was to see him on that floor, right in his own office. If we hadn't gotten there..." Sam trailed off, echoes of the emotions replaying across her face.

"You found him. He's here, asleep in your living room, getting dirt all over the pillows." Vala stood and made her way around the table to squeeze Sam's shoulder. refilling her coffee, she sat back down with a mischievous look. "Ready to hear all the yummy details from last night?"

Sam laughed. "You bet. Start with the kissing and go from there."

"Well-" Vala abruptly cut off when a large hand clapped itself over her mouth. Its match reached around her other side and grabbed her mug, disappearing from view beyond her back. She tilted her head back to rest against the warm chest behind her, the hand over her mouth following to ensure her silence. She watched as Daniel inhaled the steam rising from the hot liquid, letting out a small moan, before tilting the cup almost vertical.

"Morning, Daniel." Sam's eyes shone with suppressed laughter. Daniel gulped down the last of the coffee and plunked the cup onto the table.

"Good morning, Sam. And you," The hand over Vala's mouth tightened for a second, as if there were any doubt as to who 'you' was. "Didn't we agree that the events of last night were never to be discussed with anyone ever?"

Vala started to reply but Daniel's hand was still firmly over her mouth. Glaring up in the direction of his chin, she proceeded to perform the one maneuver years of evading captures and muggings had taught her was the only way to break free.

"Eww! You licked my hand!" Jumping back from the table, Daniel wiped his violated palm on his sweats. Smirking her victory, Vala drained the dregs of her coffee.

"You agreed not to mention last night again. I abstained."

Daniel frowned at her and Sam, who by this time was on her feet at the stove, shaking with silent laughter. Daniel crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her back. "Well, since we're all swapping stories here, why don't I fill Vala in on some of the details of that time on P3X-"

"Don't you dare!" Sam spun to face him, brandishing a spatula in a not entirely unthreatening manner. "We swore never to"

"Speak of it again?" He blinked innocently back at her. "Funny how those words seem to pop up so often, hmm?"

Sam scowled at Daniel before turning back to the stove, muttering about 'uppity linguists' over the eggs. Satisfied his reputation was safe, Daniel slid into the chair next to Vala. "Morning. You sleep okay? No after effects from the wreck?" His brow wrinkled with concern and Vala's hand twitched with the urge to smooth it away.

"Mm-mm. I slept great. How about you, darling? The sofa didn't look very comfortable to me."

With a rueful chuckle, Daniel took the plate Sam sat in front of him. "Yes, well maybe I would have made it to the bed if you hadn't jumped on a garbage truck without telling me meaning I had to run three blocks in the pouring rain to catch up. Barefoot, I might add." He paused to take a bite of his toast. "Sam, eavesdropping is rude."

"It got us here, didn't it? And aside from that dog, my way was a lot safer than your shortcut." Vala shot back. "What's an eave?"

"Eaves. Plural. It's the projecting overhang at the lower edge of a roof." Daniel smacked Vala's hand away from his bacon. "And there is no way in hell that garbage man was driving the speed limit."

"Why would Sam be holding, much less dropping, an overhang? And how is that rude? Unless she's dropping it on you, in which case it would be painful and quite possibly deadly, so I guess I could see how it might be rude. But Sam would never do that so you saying it's rude is just silly." Vala waited until he started cutting up his omelet before snatching the bacon. "And not every one drives twelve miles an hour, darling."

Daniel leveled a glare at her. "It's an expression."

"Driving twelve miles an hour?"

"No, eavesdropping."

"An expression of what? Hatred of roofs?"

The telephone cut of Daniel's reply. Sam grabbed the phone off the counter with a slightly too loud "Oh thank god." With an apologetic shrug in their direction, she answered the phone. "Hello?" Instantly she snapped to attention, the effect somewhat diminished by the pale pink pajamas she was still wearing. "Yes, sir, they wound up here last night. Car crash, sir. No. No signs of foul play. Yes, sir, they're fine, trust me." Daniel and Vala rolled their eyes at her amused tone. "The Tok'ra? Did they say what for? Hmm. Yes, sir, we'll be there. 0900." Sam hung the phone back up and slowly turned to face the other two.

"Sam? What's up?" All levity gone from his voice, Daniel sat back as her troubled blue eyes met his.

"A Tok'ra operative contacted the SGC this morning. She says she has information she has to pass on to you in person or, quote, 'the cost to this galaxy may be tremendous'."

"Well, isn't that friendly?" Vala scoffed. "This operative have a name? Or is that for Daniel only too?"

"Well," Sam frowned. "That's the part I don't like." Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the counter, arms crossed in defiance. "It's Anise."

"Crap."

"Who?"

Daniel put his head on the table and groaned. Mystified, Vala laid her hand on his back, wordlessly looking toward the other woman for clarification. With a grim smile at Daniel's response, Sam came and sat on his other side to explain.

"Anise is the symbiote half of a Tok'ra scientist we've had some dealings with in the past. I take it Mitchell hasn't told you yet why only he, you, and Teal'c ever go get steaks at O'Malley's?" Vala shook her head. "Well, to make a long story short, Anise and company talked us into trying out these armbands they had recovered and Daniel, Jack, and I all went a little..."

"Wonko." Daniel's bereft voice was muffled by the hardwood under his face.

Yeah, we ended up getting banned for life. Anyway, we also thought we single-handedly infiltrate a heavily fortified base without any back-up and nearly got ourselves killed. Anise didn't really seem to see the problem with that."

"So you don't like her." Vala got the feeling there was something else coming that would increase he dislike of this Anise.

Sure enough, the grim smile was turned her way. "You don't either. Among other things," Sam patted Daniel's back consolingly. "Anise would really like a chance to 'examine' Daniel a little more closely."

"Oh really?" Vala's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Daniel lifted his head a bit. "Freya likes Jack better, remember? I'm perfectly safe."

Sam winced. "Actually, I'm pretty sure they'd give her left arm to get both Daniel and the General into bed."

"Together?"

Another moan made it's way out of Daniel's slumped form. He raised his head to glare daggers at Vala. "I could have lived the rest of my life without that image, thank you very much!"

**A/N:** Oh, the fun coming up...

Also, this apparently developed a plot somehow, so forgive me any delays while I do, gasp, _research!_


	10. In which Walter gets some screen time

Vala paused beside a vent and wiped the cobwebs disdainfully from her face. Peering through the grating, she saw Walter hunched over his keyboard, muttering at something on the screen.

"No, no, don't do that. I just want to insert a graphic here. Please? Is this because I spent all that time yesterday on Siler's new computer? I told you I was just looking at it. Come on."

Continuing her crawl forward, she made a mental note to spend some time finding that man a hobby. _The way he's going, he'll be insane before long. Not something we want to happen to the person in charge of the big wormhole we walk through everyday._ She took a right at the next junction and started counting vents. _Third on the left and-_

"Dr. Jackson, I really wish you would reconsider."

"Bingo." Vala whispered and quietly moved as close as she dared to the thin piece of metal separating her from the office. Daniel sat in his usual spot, papers and books and old thing spread haphazardly on the worktable in front of him. A worktable currently being leaned against by one far too scantily clad Tok'ra.

"Anise. As I said in the meeting, multiple times, I don't care what offer you have to make. I'm not interested in relocating, even temporarily, to the new Tok'ra base to work on some secret project you won't even talk about."

Vala's eyes narrowed as Anise walked around the table to stand next to him.

"Daniel. Anise and I both think you could do so much more good by working with us. At the very least, read our scientists' report on the artifacts we've found." Freya rested her hand on Daniel's shoulder, giving him a clear view of her low-cut tunic. "I think you'll find our proposal to be quite satisfactory."

That did it. Vala was the only one allowed to use blatant sexual innuendos to manipulate Daniel and it was time she made that fact perfectly clear. A quick kick knocked the grate free and Vala was across the room in seconds, neatly inserting herself in between the two of them.

"Qutesh. Or is it Vala now?" Anise's voice was cold even for a Gou'ald and Vala fought back the urge to the nearest bit of pottery and smash it over her head.

"Vala, why were you in my heating duct? God, I don't even feel strange asking that."

Choosing to ignore the eyeroll-laced comment at the end, Vala responded without taking her eyes off the other woman. "Protecting your virtue, darling."

Anise clasped her hands behind her back and gave Vala a tight-lipped smile. "Ms. Mal Doran, I assure you my interests in Dr. Jackson are purely intellectual."

Vala smiled back just as falsely. "Good. Because my interests in him are entirely physical. Now about this proposal-" The rest of her tirade was cut off as Daniel grabbed her arms and moved her aside.

"Thank you, but I'm perfectly capable of defending my own virtue."

"That's not what Jack says."

"Remind me to tell you the story of Jack and a woman named Kynthia. Now as I said before, repeatedly, I'm not going to except the Tok'ra's offer of a job. I happen to like my own, most of the time. However, Anise, you are more than welcome to take General Landry up on his offer of having the linguistics department, which I'm head of, look over any findings you wish to share."

Anise shot Vala a murderous glare. "Well, I concede that none of our former hosts could provide you with such a _learned_ assistant. Forgive me if I was under the impression that you were above such things, Dr. Jackson."

Vala missed Daniel's soft-spoken reply as Anise's words seemed to echo slightly in her head. She was surprised at how much the insult hurt. Logically, she knew she should be accustomed to people thinking the worst of her but after months on the team, it shocked her. Vala opened her mouth to retort back at the other woman, since Daniel was apparently letting the fact that his girlfriend had just been called a whore slide, when a sudden disturbance on the table caught her eye.

"Um, Daniel?"

"Just a minute, Vala. Now I have quite a bit of work to do, so you'll allow Sergeant Stevens to escort you-"

"Daniel, I really think you need to see this."

"One second. Escort you back to the gateroom, you can-"

"Daniel!"

"Vala, what?!"

Wordlessly, she pointed to the table where Anise's papers sat, silently burning away to nothing.

"Oh."

"Precisely." Vala grabbed Daniel's coffee cup and doused the flames, noting with satisfaction that Anise, if the look on her face was anything to go by, was in the midst of a major freak out.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

Daniel gave her a weak grin as he gestured to the guard outside. "No idea. But I hope you enjoyed your visit, see you around!" Anise gave a rather undignified squawk as the sergeant led her out. Daniel shut the door behind her and spun to face Vala, his face filled with apprehension.

"Well, don't look at me! When it comes to odd abilities spontaneously developing, I think you win the mirror ball trophy here." She crossed her arms and met his gaze.

"Yeah." Daniel sighed, hanging his head before reaching for his phone, which slid across the counter and into his outstretched hand. Both of them stared at the innocent-looking device for a moment before Vala sat down heavily in Daniel's chair.

"Right. Well, life's never boring around you is it, Daniel?"

He glared at her while hitting the speed dial. "Mitchell? We have a situation."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Author's Note: Let me start this off right by thanking every one of you for sticking around through what will henceforth be known as 'The Great Muse Drought'. You guys are the best in the world!

Now the explanation. There are a few reasons why this took so long. I had some health issues and RL issues and computer issues that made writing a chore but mainly, after the series finale, my muses just died. Completely. I didn't write anything for a while and when I finally forced myself to write _something_, for cryin' out loud, it was all in other fandoms. X-Men, WaT, anything but Stargate. The one SG fic I wrote was a very sad fic and not really clear about what was actually going on in it. I sent to Erin to read and bless her, she wrote back asking if I needed help. Like mentally. (p.s. Erin, I reread it recently and agree, it's horribly sad. I honestly don't know where it came from. Thanks for everything.)

Then came 'Ark of Truth'.

While it wasn't everything I hoped for, (seriously, Daniel is fully clothed in every scene!) and I could go on about what I didn't like, 'Ark' did serve one very excellent purpose. It got the little Daniel and Vala voices in my head talking again! After seeing it, I sat down and wrote four pages on what you've just read and another two and a half of where I want this to go now. And I'm warning you, It's not where it was going in the first place. I'm gonna be pulling in some ideas I've had floating in my head for longer than I've been writing and a few things that came to me as I tore through my dictionary looking stuff up. So hang in there with me and I hope you enjoy!

DarkElf


	11. Dannyboy

Dannyboy

(He's back…)

"So it just burst into flames?" Cameron was eyeball to ashes with what remained of Anise's proposal, skepticism plain in his voice. Daniel wondered briefly if he could get away with leaning over and blowing the sooty mess all over the other man's face.

"Yes, Mitchell."

"Just…whoosh. Fire." Unaware or choosing to ignore the sarcasm, Cam continued peering at the desk.

"Yes, Mitchell."

"You didn't see anything strange or something? Just…fire." And here the disbelief was palatable, tempered as it was with wonder, and Daniel decided he really didn't want the extra pysch evaluation that would come from getting Cam's face dirty.

"Well, now that you mention it, there was a pack of Campfire Girls tromping through my office, maybe they lit it on fire." Mitchell shifted his gaze to Daniel and looked like he was considering it, then gave him a half nod.

"Point taken."

"Guys, could we focus here? And will one of you get a sample of the ashes for Dr. Lee?" Sam gave Daniel a sympathetic look as she continued scanning his office for energy signatures. Mitchell took the specimen jar and swept a bit of the gray char into it.

"All I'm saying is, we're pretty damn sure the Ori are dead. We've gotten rid of the Priors. We've been on a few little missions and then bam! Jackson's got spontaneous combustion going on here. Am I the only one whose still a little nervous around unexplained sources of fire?"

"I, too, find this matter disquieting, Colonel Mitchell."

"Thank you, Teal'c." Cam slapped Teal'c shoulder and shot Daniel a smug look that never failed to remind him of Jack. Or more specifically, of Jack's 'I know I'm pissing somebody off but I don't care' look. Which could be why Daniel wasn't entirely joking about the Jack fathering Cam back in 1969 thing. He and Sam had left to go find Katherine and the Stargate and he couldn't be completely certain what Jack got up to.

"However, I do not believe this could be the work of the Ori."

"Actually, I don't either." Sam was still looking at the device in her hand. "There are some low readings around the papers themselves but nothing anywhere else in the office. Any outside source should have left a trail." They all took a minute to digest this information before Cam spoke up again.

"So, basically, what you're saying is?"

"It just burst into flames."

Suddenly Mitchell snapped his fingers and pointed at Daniel. "Oma Desala!"

Daniel stared at him. _On second thought, pysch evals aren't all that bad._ "I'm sorry, what?"

"Oma. Desala." Cam paused slightly between the words, evidently thinking this would help Daniel grasp the meaning.

"No, not 'what' as in 'what did you say'? 'What' as in 'what in the hell does Oma', whom you've never met by the way, 'have to do with this'?" Teal'c arched his eyebrow at Daniel's snippy response and he took a moment to reign in his irritation.

On Kheb, didn't she communicate with you by lighting some candle thingie?" Mitchell wiggled the fingers on his left hand to simulate the flame.

"Yes." Daniel waited a beat before continuing. "But she's probably a little to busy locked in eternal combat with Anubius to spend much time setting my desk ablaze."

"Oh, yeah." Cam visibly deflated a little and went back to staring at the papers.

"Personally, I'm more disturbed by the flying phones business than the fire." Vala piped up from her spot on the back of the couch. Three heads spun in her direction while Daniel's fell forward. More staring ensued for a moment before Mitchell cleared his throat and asked, "Flying phone?"

"Didn't Daniel mention that? He's been keeping quiet on lots of things lately." She abruptly stood and headed for the door. "Fill them in, would you Daniel? I've got to see a man about a hobby." Daniel stared after her, wincing when she slammed the door closed. _What did I do now?_

"She seem upset to any of y'all?"

"What flying phone?"

Ignoring Mitchell, Daniel turned to Sam. "When I went to call you guys, the phone just sort of slid across the counter into my hand. I wouldn't call it flying, per say." Silence followed his comment and Daniel slumped into his chair. "Damn."

"Okay. Flying phones are new. At least, I think they're new."

"Airborne telephones are indeed a new development, Colonel Mitchell."

"Thought so. Okay, Jackson, you're staying on-"

"On base until we figure out what's going on." Daniel leaned back and closed his eyes. _I'm not gonna sigh. I'm not gonna sigh._

"Yeah. And get-"

"Checked out by Dr. Lam, including a full blood workup, to see if there's something weird going on."

"Right. Make sure you get issued a new set of BDUs, too."

That made him sit up and look at Mitchell with a frown. "New BDUs? Why?"

Cam grinned. "No reason. I just wanted tell you something without you finishing my sentence."

Daniel gave the younger man a rueful smile. "Yeah, been though this a couple times."

Mitchell's grin sobered slightly and he shrugged. "Comes with the territory, huh?"

"Yep." Daniel agreed, though the dark little voice in his head couldn't help adding _Wait till it happens to you._

"I believe knowing what transpired during you and General Landry's meeting with Anise would be worthwhile, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c was examining the papers now, using the end of a pen to sift through the remnants.

Daniel made at face at the thought. "Basically, she was here to formally extend an invitation on behalf of the Tok'ra council for me to work on translating some Ancient papers they uncovered. She wouldn't really go into a lot of detail, not that that's anything new."

"Did she say where the Tok'ra have been the past few years?"

He turned back to Sam, wishing he had some aspirin. "Apparently they've been hiding out on a Gou'ald mothership, keeping in hyperspace as much as possible. Turns out once we eliminated the Gou'ald, some of the Tok'ra got a little greedy and messed with the wrong people, so they've been laying low."

Mitchell glanced at the others, gauging their reactions. "Ancient papers? A secret mothership? This sound fishy to you guys?"

"That's how Landry felt, too."

"He give her the look?" Sam finished scanning the phone and came to stand next to him.

"You mean the one that says 'I know what you're after and I'm amused you think you can try'?" Daniel nodded. "Not that I was considering her offer. She left some provision requests; food, building supplies, the like. Landry's got a copy we can go over, seeing as mine's a little worse for wear. She alluded to the Tok'ra being short on hosts, but Landry pretty much shut her down before she got too far. Honestly, I'm not sure why Anise came and not somebody a little lower down the food chain."

Mitchell shook his head and started toward the hall. "I'd find it very difficult to believe that her showing up and your little shazam episode are coincidence. I'm gonna nose around some, maybe ask Vala to check her contacts. Teal'c, would you mind looking over the requests she made? See if something doesn't smell right?"

Teal'c paused as he followed Cam out the door. "We have already concurred it is 'fishy', Colonel Mitchell."

Daniel bit back his chuckle until the two of them left. "Sometimes I swear Teal'c's deliberately taunting him." He spun back to Sam and saw her shaking her head in agreement.

"Jack's gonna have a field day with this, isn't he?"

She gave him a weak smile. The one she reserved for times when they were in really deep shit. "We'll figure it out, Daniel. I better get this to Bill and I'm gonna have Siler review the tapes of what happened and see if anything shows up." She headed for the door, turning around at the last second. "Do you want me to see what's up with Vala?"

"Please?" Daniel looked at her hopefully, one hand coming up to massage the back of his neck. "She seemed fine this morning at breakfast and than the thing with Anise happened and somehow I did something or said something or, I don't know, took the last red Jello. Although she usually just steals that off my tray anyhow. Maybe the accident shook her up more than she let on."

Sam tilted her head thoughtfully. "I'll see what I can find out. How are you feeling?"

"Like an Unas is rampaging through my skull."

She grimaced in sympathy. "Be sure and tell Carolyn about it. And try and have fun tonight."

Something in her tone made him instantly suspicious. "Have fun doing what?"

And now she looked slightly guilty, which never boded well for Daniel. "I may or may not have overheard Cam talking to Teal'c about Jack stopping by later."

If he hadn't been sitting down already, Daniel would have sunk into his chair. As it was, he settled for groaning and throwing his glasses onto the table.

"It's not that bad, Daniel." Sam was valiantly trying not to laugh as she consoled him.

"Jack, by himself, is not that bad. Mitchell, by himself, is downright pleasant. The two of them, together, is one of the signs of the apocalypse." Sam opened her mouth to reply when they heard someone walking down the hallway, cheerfully whistling 'Dannyboy'.

Sam ducked out the door, and Daniel gave in to his subconscious and let out a bone weary sigh. "It's gonna be the jello wrestling thing all over again."

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

**A/N: **I'm not completely thrilled with this chapter. But I knew if allowed, I would keep it for months tweaking and re-tweaking, and you guys might actually hunt me down and kill me through sheer frustration alone. So here you go. )


	12. The Boys Are Back In Town

The Boys Are Back In Town

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"Jack."

"Daniel."

The older man leaned comfortably against the doorframe and slipped his hands into his pockets, managing to look simultaneously innocent and up to no good.

"Don't ask me to explain the burn marks on my desk." Daniel slid his glasses back on and turned to glare at his computer screen. Which was off but that was beside the point.

"Wasn't going to." Jack took the abrupt remark as the invitation it was and strolled across the room to the bookcase, seemingly interested in the titles displayed there.

"Good." Daniel punched the power button with a little more force than was strictly necessary and started yanking open drawers until he found a travel bottle of Tylenol. He winced as his head gave a particularly vicious throb, and silently cursed whoever invented childproof caps. " 'Cause I don't know why it caught on fire, or why the phone flew into my hand, or why Anise is suddenly wanting me to go work for the Tok'ra, or why Vala's mad at me, Or why the police can't figure out who sideswiped my jeep, or why these stupid bottles are so damn hard to open!"

Jack was suddenly in front of him, grabbing his hands and forcing him to meet his eyes. "Daniel. I can honestly say I did not come here to ask you any of that." Jack had that look on his face that said he had no idea what was wrong but he would fix it. Daniel blushed and gave an apologetic smile. Jack grinned back and took the bottle, pulling a K-bar knife from somewhere and neatly popping the lid off with the blade.

"They let you carry that in the Pentagon?"

"As long as they don't know about it, they do." He passed Daniel a fresh cup of coffee and watched him swallow a couple of pills, a certain hovering quality to his stance that Daniel had privately named 'The Hen Appears' making him ask the first question that came to his mind.

"So what are you here for?"

"Movie night. Mitchell's appalled that you've never seen 'Die Hard'." Jack leaned against the wall and picked up a piece of pottery.

"I've seen it, it's just been a while." Daniel frowned.

"Ah, well. It any good?"

"You've never seen it?" He snatched the vase back and carefully set it down.

"Why do people keep asking me that?" Jack moved back to the bookcase and Daniel spun in the chair to follow him.

"So you flew all the way from Washington to watch a movie with Mitchell and me?"

"No. I _beamed_ all the way from Washington to watch a movie with Mitchell and you. What, I'm not allowed to spend time with you guys anymore?"

"You're an hour early." He pointed out. Jack made a meaningless gesture with one hand.

"Time zones. So. What happened to your car?"

"You said you weren't going to ask me that." Jack finally gave up pretending to inspect the shelves and settled for hovering again, just out of arm's reach.

"No, I said I didn't come here to ask you that. Now that I'm here…what happened to your car?"

Daniel grimaced. "I'm not exactly sure. Vala and I were on our way to dinner when we got rammed by something. A truck, maybe? It's still kinda fuzzy. We wound up across the street, in front of Marcelo's deli."

Jack's eyes narrowed as he stepped closer. "And no leads on the other car?"

Daniel sighed again. "No. The cops said the traffic camera broke a few days ago and there weren't any others in the area. All we have is a black paint transfer on what left of my Jeep." Jack started to ask something else but Daniel cut him off. "No, I don't think it's anything to worry about, oddly enough, car accidents do happen _accidentally._ I would ask you not to get involved but that's probably pointless."

"Probably? Jeez, Danny, I do need to spend more time with you guys." There it was, that grin right there. It was the same one Mitchell had. Daniel wondered if he could get Dr. Lam to run a DNA test.

"So you and Vala are dating now?" Jack had poorly concealed glee written all over his face.

"Sort of."

"Ya know, I've always wondered, how do you 'sort of' date somebody?"

"You spend months tryin' convince folks you don't like her, then you deny having romantic feelings for her while everybody and their dog's cousin can tell otherwise, than when ya finally wise up and start doin' things right, the universe decides to use you as it's whippin' boy yet again and somehow, in all the hoopla, she winds up mad at ya and you're sitting here tryin' to figure out what you did wrong while she's down in the PT room beatin' the crap outta bunch of marines." Mitchell set down the boxes he was carrying and turned to Daniel with a smirk. "I miss anything?"

"No, I think you covered it." Daniel raised his eyebrows at the amount of beer and chips filling the box on his floor. "Expecting company?"

Mitchell clapped his hands and gave him that damned grin again. "All right. I got the first three 'Die Hard' flicks 'cause stuff blows up. I got 'The Fifth Element' 'cause it's got that hot chick from 'Resident Evil' and stuff blows up. And last but not least, I got 'Hudson Hawk' 'cause Catholic girls are scary and stuff blows up. Rules are anytime Bruce kills a bad guy on screen, ya take a drink. Any questions?"

All of 'Hudson Hawk', one 'Die Hard', most of 'The Fifth Element', and two and a half packs of beer later, the three of them were sprawled over the bed in Jack's quarters, trying to convince Cam that calling all his ex-girlfriends from high school was a bad idea. Daniel finally unplugged the phone and was about to drift off to sleep when Jack suddenly bolted upright and pointed an accusatory finger at Daniel.

"You're one of her!"

"What?" Daniel and Cam said in unison.

"You and Leeloo or whoever, you're one of her! You got the freaky powers and the Ancient knowledge and, and Merlin!" He swung his arm to point at the screen, narrowly missing hitting the side of Mitchell's head. "Maybe the whole fire whatchamacallit is a sign that you have to prepare to save the world! Again!"

"No more drink for you, 'kay?" Daniel took the half-empty beer out Jack's loose grip.

"He's gotta point, Jackson." Mitchell peered forward at the movie intently.

Daniel just managed to catch Mitchell's drink as it tipped dangerously to one side. "How am I the only one still fairly sober?"

"Mitchell and me were counting the 'splosions."

Daniel shook his head and reached for another bottle. "As long as we're all getting trashed together, I gue-" A strong hand grabbed the back of his head and pulled, cutting off the rest of his sentence as a warm mouth planted itself over his. Just as it clicked in his brain that someone was kissing him, the mouth pulled back and bright blue eyes frowned back at him.

"Didn't work."

Daniel blinked a few times and felt his mind reengage with reality.

"Question."

"Yeah?"

"The fuck?"

Mitchell pointed sloppily in the TV's direction. "Leeloo had to get kissed by Bruce ' fore she got all glowy and stuff. So I gave it a shot but it didn't work. Maybe 'cause you've been glowy before? You think there's a limit on that kinda thing?" Daniel made a mental note that Mitchell got chatty when he was drunk. "Ya taste sorta like coffee. Somethin' else too, but I can't place it."

"Caramel." Jack piped up from behind another beer.

"Yeah, caramel!"

"I cannot believe I'm about to ask this but, Jack, how do you know what my kisses taste like?" Jack mumbled something under his breath, the edge of a blush creeping up his neck. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I said 'time loops'."

Daniel stared at Jack for a minute, distantly aware that he was now laying across Cam's legs.

"Oh, don't look at me like that! It was your idea!"

"It's not a bad taste, really." Mitchell remarked, licking his lips slightly.

"I find it very difficult to believe that I told you to kiss me."

Jack had the decency to look guilty. "Well, not exactly. You said I should do whatever I wanted 'cause there weren't gonna be any consequences!"

"So you kissed me?!"

"Just once! I kissed Carter, too! And I timed it right 'fore the day restarted so it's not like you even noticed!" Jack replied hotly. "I never woulda done any of it if I thought was the slightest chance any of you were gonna remember it!"

"Oh, well, that makes it better! Gee, thanks!"

"Daniel, we were looping for months. Every damn time I had to start all over again. So I lost it a little, sue me! Maybe I woulda lasted longer if you hadn't kept asking me that damn question!"

"Wait, so you two never, uh?" Mitchell made a vaguely obscene hand motion.

"NO!"

"Huh. We need more beer." Cam untangled himself and weaved unsteadily across the room to the remaining six pack. Jack kicked his boots off and slumped farther down the bed next to Daniel, who was feeling blindly around on the floor. With a crow of triumph, he pulled up his still half full Corona.

"So, uh, you never thought about…"

Daniel choked on his first swallow. "Hell, no!"

"Good! Good, me neither. Just checking."

Mitchell fell back over the bed, landing on both of their legs. "Let's skip 'Die Hard 2'. I wanna see the one with the trucks."

**Author's note: **Whew! This, folks, is the chapter I've had written for almost an entire year! GatePirate and I had a little conversation on LJ that wound up being 42 comments long and outlining almost exactly what you just read. A million and one thanks to her for co-writing this one and coming up with the kiss! Drunk!Mitchell is so fun to write! There's more coming, but I had to split it up or this chapter would be HUGE! As it is, I just passed the 20,000 word mark! Cookies to all of you who have stuck with me this far, you guys rock!

Don't forget to review! Elf


	13. There's Got To Be A Morning After

There's Got To Be A Morning After

Vala woke up to the incessant buzzing of her alarm clock in her ear. She reached for the pillow next to her, intending to block out the dreaded sound, and felt soft, long hair instead. Memories came back in a rush; kissing, car crash, Anise, flying cellphones, and oh yes, Daniel's complete and utter reaction to the Tok'ra's comments towards her. The buzzing shut off and Vala forced open an eye to glare in the vicinity of Teal'c's left knee.

"Ugh. What time is it, Muscles? And why does my head feel like Jaffa have been using it for target practice?"

"Zero five hundred." He crouched down to her level and offered her the pills and glass of water in his hand. "I believe you are suffering from what is known as a hangover." Vala took the medicine before gingerly rolling over and poking Sam's side.

"Don't touch that!" Sam bolted upright, a mix of panic and order adding an edge to her voice that hit Vala's brain like a zat blast and setting off a pounding little rhythm in response. She clapped her hand over the other woman's mouth. "Let's stick with not shouting, all right?" Sam nodded in sympathy and Vala moved her hand to her own head, rubbing small circles at her temple. Sam took more aspirin from Teal'c and slowly swung her legs to the floor and stood up. "Ow. How much did we drink last night?"

"Sergeant Siler asked me to escort you both to the security room. I believe he may have found may have found something interesting." The deep bass of Teal'c's voice soothed the throbbing tempo in Vala's head long enough for her to pull on some clothes and run a brush through her tangled hair. Make-up, however, seemed too strenuous. _Here's hoping Daniel's still locked in his office. _She frowned, remembering she was mad at him, and grabbed a rhinestone hair clip off her dresser. _Or has a non-life threatening but really, really bothersome head cold._

Vala kept her head down during the walk to the security center, trying to breathe through the sudden bout of nausea that arose in the elevator. Finally they got there and she was never so grateful for the subdued lighting in certain parts of the base. She let Teal'c and Sam pull ahead to talk to Siler, the idea of watching a tape rewind than fast-forward over and over making her stomach flip. Instead she drifted over to the wall of monitors, under the guise of getting a cup of coffee, and let the low hum of the machinery ease her pounding headache. She was idly scanning the screens, picking out familiar people and places, when one particular image had her choking on her drink.

"Vala? Are you okay?" Sam crossed the room and patted her on the back a few times until she managed to draw a decent breath. "Oh, my stars, Samantha, how do you people get any work done?" The other woman looked puzzled.

"What?"

Vala pointed at the screen for the guest quarters and Sam choked back a laugh. The remaining members of SG-1, past and present, were tangled up on the king-sized bed, looking for all intents and purposes like worn out toddlers. Sam hit the zoom and the camera obligingly narrowed its focus to show Jack laying on his back, with his arms spread out and one leg hanging over the side of the mattress. Cameron, meanwhile, was on his side, head resting on Jack's chest, and his left leg had worked it's way under the general's thigh. And last but not least, there was Daniel, spooned up against Mitchell's back with his head buried in the younger man's neck and his arm flung over both the others.

"Man, they must have gotten drunker than we did." Sam gasped and started typing something on the keyboard in between bouts of the giggles. Vala sat down her coffee cup before she spilled it and collapsed into the nearest chair.

"I believe Colonel Mitchell and O'Neill will want to see the tapes from yesterday's incident. Should I wake them?" Teal'c walked up beside her, somehow managing to look incorruptible and mischievous all at the same time. _Maybe it's the eyebrow._ Vala glanced over at Sam before they responded in unison.

"Yes!" Teal'c gave one of his half-bows, more an inclination of his head than anything, and quietly left. Vala took a sip of coffee and leaned back, still chuckling at the image in front of her. Sam finished typing and absently started cleaning the keyboard with her fingernail. Vala took the time to finish her drink and twirled to face the colonel, regretting it as her head gave a another throb. "All right. Ask. Daniel wants to know why I'm upset with him and you offered to find out."

Sam looked up from the little piles of dust in front of her and gave a guilty smile. "Well, you did leave in kinda a huff yesterday. And Daniel can be sort of…"

"Cluelessly persuasive?" Vala glanced back at the screen in time to see Cameron bury his head farther between Jack's neck and shoulder.

"Something like that. You two seemed okay at breakfast and on the drive over here. And then you spend last night beating up McDoyle and his guys and we wound up getting very drunk. So what happened?" Sam was facing her now, confusion and concern written on her face. Vala went and poured more coffee, using the time to gather her thoughts.

"Yesterday, Anise and Daniel were talking and I sort of wandered in and she made some remarks and it just would have been nice to hear Daniel say something back, all right?"

Sam frowned and leaned forward. "What did she say?"

"Nothing I haven't heard before. It's fine, really, I'm being ridiculous." Vala pointedly turned her eyes back to the wall of camera shots.

"Vala." Sam waited until Vala spun to face her again before speaking again, confusion replaced with a look of beseeching Vala hadn't seen since Daniel convinced her to drop the pretend-Quetesh act. _Trust me._ "You are my friend and my teammate. If something or _someone_ is bothering you, I wanna know about it. You can tell anything. And if Anise said something she shouldn't, we need to know. She is technically a guest of the SGC. We could have Teal'c kick her out." Sam grinned and Vala chuckled at the image of Teal'c kicking Anise through the gate. Literally. She looked back up at Sam who had passed beseeching and was now giving Vala what O'Neill called the 'kicked puppy pout'.

"Damn blue eyes." Vala scowled. 'Jack's right. You, Cameron, and Daniel are going to take over the planet someday, I just know it. All right, fine." She knocked back the rest of her now lukewarm coffee like it was something stronger and crossed her arms. "Anise made Daniel her little offer to work for them and when he refused, she made a not so subtle hint that I was only on the team to be Daniel's 'assistant' and she was sorry they couldn't 'accommodate' him like that."

Sam blinked once, twice, and opened her mouth only to close it before she said anything. Vala watched the emotions going across her face and was a little surprised at the level of anger present. Finally, Sam simply stood and grabbed Vala's arm, tugging her up and out the door.

"Sam? Where are we going? Samantha!" Vala felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her and she stumbled after the other woman towards the elevator. Sam punched the down button and tapped her foot impatiently as the car headed their way. Vala steadied herself against the wall and closed her eyes for a second, breathing through the nausea yet again. When she was reasonably sure she could talk without losing her stomach contents, she turned to Sam and in a deceptively calm voice asked, "Sam? Where. Are. We. Going."

The taller woman turned to face her with a fierce glare that had Vala fighting the instinct to take a step back. "We are going to General Landry so he can formally kick Anise's Tok'ra behind back to whatever rock she crawled out from under, and then we're going to find Daniel and give him exactly two minutes to explain himself before we give the nurses a copy of last night's security tape." The elevator choose that moment to arrive and Sam tugged Vala inside a hair gentler than she tugged her down the hall. The car started with a jolt and Vala grabbed the rail as her vision swam again. Sam shifted her grip to Vala's shoulder, concern temporarily replacing anger in her features. Vala managed a weak smile. "I think I'll stay away from the tequila next time. Or cars."

"Crap. I forgot about the wreck." Sam swore, guiding Vala to the floor of the elevator. "That's something else we need to talk to Landry about. After he orders Anise off the planet."

Vala sank back against the wall and smiled for real this time. "Thanks, Sam."

Sam gave her a warm grin in return. "Nobody messes with SG-1."

**A/N:** Sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't abandon this, I swear, but for some reason this chapter was really hard to write! And once I did get it finished, real life kept intervening when I tried to post. Thanks to all of you for sticking with me and reviewing. You guys are the greatest.

Elf


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